Walkthrough:Final Fantasy X/BlueHighwind/Part 1

Hello Space Monkies, I am BlueHighwind and welcome to the very first page of the Walkthrough that actually has real guidance. Not that you will probably need guidance for FFX (in my opinion, it's the easiest game in the whole series). However there are a few unfortunate souls out there who cannot handle games of even this miniature caliber. They should probably go out and do something else. But for those who ignore that sound advice, I now bring you the true beginning of my Final Fantasy X Walkthrough.

DUN DUN DUN!!!

Zanarkand

The game begins In Medias Res, in the classic style of epic poems. The cast is sitting around an open campfire in what appears to be a post-apocalyptic world, looking really bummed about something. You may recognize this scene as the little movie that plays before the Title Screen when you first pop your screen into the Playstation. If you just watched that scene a moment ago, I pity you. I made that same mistake when I first started playing this game some six years ago.

A fair-haired dude with a really awful taste in clothing gets up and pats his Asian girlfriend on the shoulder. She almost has a little mini orgasm at just the slightest touch of blondy. However blondy doesn't finish her off, and just lets the Asian chick go unsatisfied. He seems more interested in the top of the hill for some reason.

Now the words Final Fantasy X come across the TV. Not the most exciting intro, certainly.

The sickeningly futuristic and hi-tech Zanarkand.

Now we skip to some futuristic city filled with all sorts of low-lifes and dirty whores who all share a truly ghastly idea of what constitutes a proper outfit. Everyone runs off somewhere off screen and then some ghost kid appears and disappears in a dramatic fashion. Wait, I recognize this tune - its the Crystal Theme, just all fucked up with a lousy techno beat.

Now we can finally do something. We now have control of that blond kid from the opening movie and try to run down the crowd below. This shouldn't be too difficult, but for some crazy reason the camera is on rails and it always seems to be a challenge to get your character to go where he's supposed to. All I have to say is thank God, they got rid of this pre-rendered rail camera thing for FFXII.

So some girl asks for your autograph, that means we can name the blond kid. The default name is "Tidus" and for simplicity purposes that's the name we're going with in this walkthrough. Be warned though, that this is only character you can name in this whole game other than the Aeons. Well if you want voice acting, you're going to have to sacrifice character naming.

Playable Character: Tidus

Tidus (pronounced tEEdus for some reason) is the hero that nobody asked for but yet Square delivered anyway. After FFIX and its awesome hero Zidane, I was certain that the quality of protagonists had nowhere to go but up. I was so sadly mistaken. Its like asking for a nice Philly Cheese Steak just without the peppers and receiving a plate of nothing but peppers. He's whiny, his voice is high-pitched, and he is all around annoying. Needless to say, I don't like this kid. In fact I pretty much hate the whole cast of FFX with the notable exceptions of Yuna and Auron. Tidus's class is hard to classify. Like pretty much every character in this game, he's a mixture of two or more classes in one. He can use Time Magic and is a light physical attacker. His special moves like "Cheer" and "Focus" are totally fucking useless. However "Quick Hit" is a godsend at the end of the game. So in the end, Tidus may be an annoying little prick, he is still an essential member of your party. Use him.

Now that our hero is all good and named, you will notice that this game has voice acting. This is a major revolution in the evolution of Final Fantasy. Unfortunately most of the voice acting is well... bad. Take for example the guy who does Tidus. I'm amazed that they even considered him for the job, and even more amazed that he got it. Tidus's voice has a way of searing cracks right into your very soul. And don't even get me started on Rikku.

Fight your way through the crowds of swooning ecstatic fan-girls and enter the big building. Now its time for a really fancy Blitzball FMV. Somebody at Square apparently thought that using that incoherent-death-metal-Satan-worshiping-because-my-girlfriend-dumped-me-bullshit music was a good idea. They were wrong. Final Fantasy music is meant to be grand and orchestral, and it certainly shouldn't annoy the shit out of me. Well death metal is bland, cliche, and it annoys the shit out of me. Every song is exactly the same. Every song. There is no difference of any kind. Just watch:

Wow the game just started ten minutes ago and already a major city has been destroyed. A new record for Final Fantasy! Hurray!

Just run straight to Auron. And follow him.

Playable Character: Auron

Auron is the man who should have been this game's hero. He is everything Tidus is not - cool, badass, and a Bass (Tidus is a wussy little Soprano, just like AJ). Also unlike Tidus, Auron actually knows what the fuck he is doing. This dude is also one of my favorite characters in all of Final Fantasy just because he's so badass. Auron's class is a pure physical attacker brute. He sends his sword cleaving through even toughest opponents. While Tidus is more geared towards faster smaller enemies, Auron can always be counted upon to chop up the biggest motherfucker in the room. In this game he was always my MVP, every time. The best character in the game and the most useful. His special "Breaks" can seriously trash any opponents defense. With "Quick Hit" he is unstoppable. Even God shakes in fear of good old Auron. If you don't use him in battle, then get the fuck off my walkthrough. I will only tolerate so much stupidity.

Time stops and that little ghost kid will start to talk to Tidus. "Don't cry" - too late, Tidus is a pussy who will bawl his eyes out over a little stubbed toe.

But then the laws of the universe recover and we begin our very first battle. Our first opponent: Sin's little children. These little foes can go down with a single strike. Only fight the ones in front of you, don't waste you time with the ones that fall behind you.

Now that the first few foes are dead, continue to follow Auron forward until we reach our very first Boss Battle.

Boss Battle: Sinspawn Ammes

HP: 2400 Steal: Nothing Difficulty: Easy

Strategy: As soon as this fight begins you'll notice that Auron's Overdrive Bar is completely filled. The game then gives you a little a little Overdrive tutorial. This is the first of many times when the game holds your hand like a small child. Auron's Dragon Fang will instantly slaughter all the little Sinspawns and weaken the boss considerably. Even if you somehow fuck up the button sequence the battle field will be cleared so that you can go mono y mono with Ammes. Now you're guaranteed to win. The only move that this creature knows is "Demi" which can certainly hurt you, but it can never finish the job. You can mindlessly tap and you'll still win.

Once you've won the match, run to the Save Point and save. The great thing about the Save Points in this game, is that they fully heal your HP and MP. Meaning that we no longer have to waste our time with pesky Tents and Cottages. Move onto the next area and to the next page of my walkthrough.

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