Hello, Space Monkies!!! This is my fifth walkthrough, which is very fitting because this is the fifth game in the Final Fantasy Series. The number 5 is the greatest number of them all, compared to the evil of number 6. Strangely this seems to have been reversed for Final Fantasy, because this game, though excellent, does not even begin to compare to its younger brother - Final Fantasy IV. Or even its older brother, FFVI. It's about as mediocre as you can get with a Final Fantasy game. Not actively bad, but not really good at all. The storyline is weak, the characters are all forgettable empty shells with barely any motivation or traits (except for one guy, you-know-who), and the world is uninspired. But the battle system is kickass for the main part, and there's that one character, who definitely makes his game worth a view. If you're still not impressed, I see no wrong in just moving onto another game.
For tonight's performance, I will be using the Final Fantasy V Advance version, so any differences between what I'm saying and what you're seeing on screen may be the result of version differences. I know for a fact that the optional dungeon at the end is not present in any other version, other than the fair Game Boy Advance copy.
I am not concerned with such trivial matters such as spelling or grammar, so if it really bothers you edit to your heart's desire but do not change the fundamental idea of what I have said, for it is sacred text. If you do not like foul language than you better get the fuck used to it, because I enjoy cursing.
How to Play Final Fantasy V
Even I'm getting a little sick of these jokes by now, but they apply to every game in the Final Fantasy series, so they stay.
Before you even think of playing Final Fantasy V, there are some minor physical limitations. First of all you need at least one working human hand, the ability to take visible Electromagnetic Radiation through organs called 'eyes' in a process called 'seeing', and a central nervous system plus a working brain to take in this information and interpret it in a meaningful way. Hearing is optional, but the game is much better if you can actually listen to the brilliant score. Plus you're going to have to know how to read. (If you can't read, then how the hell are you even understanding this?).
Now for the technological limitations. You're going to need a power source, preferably electrical to drive the machinery you're going to need in order to play this game. You're going to need either the Game Boy Advance, Game Boy Advance SP, or Nintendo DS and at least twenty batteries. Then you need a copy of the Final Fantasy V Advance cartridge. Which can probably still be procured in your local video game retailer.
Insert the cartridge into the proper slot. If you cannot perform this simple task than you either lack the physical ability to play this game (if that's the case then I feel for you man, life really dumped a lot of shit on you) or are just a complete fucking retard, in which case you get no sympathy from me. Seriously if you can't do than even that, then you've shown a greater degree of stupidity, and incompetence than an Italian Tank Division charge. Congratulations!
(riotous applause, hoots, hollers, screams of delight)
If you've ever played a Final Fantasy and have even the slightest amount of intelligence you can skip this section and the next. If you're a total idiot who cannot grasp even the slightest concepts (I know at least one is reading this), feel free to read to your heart's content.
Since this game is on the Game Boy, is select and is cancel. Use the arrow keys to move around the main screen and through the menus. Start will open up the menus. The shoulder buttons allow you to run away. That's all that you really need to know.
(shouts of insane glee, gunshots into the air, cars being overturned to celebrate)
Final Fantasy V's Battle system is fundamentally the same as the installments from FF1 to FFX-2. It's a Turn-Based RPG, however uses an Active Time System. That means that you're enemies will still attack even if you've left the room to make a sandwich. But you have plenty of time to pick out your moves, just that there is a very long time limit. Stay calm and don't rush, or you'll wind up throwing a "Curaga" onto your enemies and killing your entire party with "Meteor".
This game uses a Class System very similar to the one employed in Final Fantasy III. Your characters can choose from various Classes that each have individual stats, spells, weapons and armor, and abilities. Though the big difference here is that a character can learn abilities by fighting as that class for a long time. Say Lenna is a Black Mage. If you fight as a Black Mage long enough, she can now use Black Magic, even if she's a White Mage. In this way you can customize your units and build up your party's strength in other ways then just simply level grinding and equipping weapons.
Okay enough of the boring technical garbage.
(explosions, animal shrieks, sounds of rape and murder, several missiles launching)
Table of Contents
So I can easily navigate my own pages.
- Part 1: Deep Impact
- Part 2: Arr Me Mateys!!
- Part 3: Sargasso Sombers
- Part 4: Shivering Shiva
- Part 5: Oops, I Think We Broke It
- Part 6: Karnak Kronikals
- Part 7: Biblioteca del Muerto
- Part 8: I Believe I Can Fly
- Part 9: Shifting Sand Land
- Part 10: Floating Fortress Fun
- Part 11: Meteo Warp
- Part 12: The Epic of Gilgamesh
- Part 13: Kupo the Night Away
- Part 14: An American Werewolf in Quelb
- Part 15: Pyrrhic Victory
- Part 16: Yellow Submarine
- Part 17: Galuf and Aeris Now Have Something in Common
- Part 18: One World, One Vision
- Part 19: Pyramid of Power
- Part 20: Mirage Secrets
- Part 21: A Tablet, Two Spells, and a Job Class
- Part 22: Trench Warfare
- Part 23: The God of Death, The Giver of Life, and the Dragon King Walk Into a Bar...
- Part 24: Give in to the Void
- Part 25: OMG, Omega!!
- Part 26: Shinryu Strikes
- Part 27: Death to Exdeath
- Part 28: The Sealed Temple Begins
- Part 29: Omega and Shinryu Strike Back
- Part 30: The Route of All Evil
- Part 31: Boss-Run Challenge