Last time, our brave heroes climbed a Volcano on a quest to fight a powerful dragon. No, I don't mean The Czar Dragon inside Barrel Volcano, or Kaiser Dragon inside Dragons' Den, nor do I mean Volvagia inside Death Mountain. If that were so, then I'd be playing a far superior game to this, but sadly, I'm not. Well, come on, we don't have much more to go.
Even More Tired Cliche Dungeon Concepts[]
Here, gas from the Volcano prevents you from seeing the enemies on the higher levels. A Mask lets us see through the gas, so let’s snag that first. Head right and up the stairs. Fight the new Werewolf and go through the passage behind it to the red chest. The White spell rocks, one of the few things the programmers got right in this game. Then go out and left of the entrance. Up the stairs, hop right and fight your way to the stairs to the next level, meeting the new Nitemare enemy on the way.
In the gas-filled area, go left and down the stairs, then up, right and through the passage. Then up the stairs to another gas-filled area. Head left, up and right to more stairs up. In a clear area, fight the Ghost and the Werewolf for the Mask.
Now, unlike past dungeons, I don’t care enough to snag all the minor treasures here. Ok? I never use Cure potions or whatever. We have White and the Mask, some I’m gonna screw exploring and skip the exit, ok? You don’t like it, tough, go read someone else’s walkthrough. I hate this game and the sooner I finish it, the better. Go to the first gas-filled area and go up the stairs guarded by the Nitemare. Up here, go left, right through the passage, and up some more stairs. In the final area is the boss to the left and up the stairs.
Medusa is another boss with no name and backstory. Ugh. Her Screechvoice confuses and hits for over 250 damage, and she’s resistant to Blizzard. So bust out that new White spell and smack her for over 1000 damage. Descend into the stairs to unlock the next area. Head back to Fireburg and stock up on stuff and heal before entering Lava Dome.
I thought the Hydra was an aquatic creature[]
Guess what? It was. So why there's a Hydra in here, I have no clue. Welcome to the Lava Dome. First things first, we snag the treasure, then whack the boss. Head left, down the stairs and up into the cave, meeting the new Ninja and Hot Wings enemies on the way. Inside the cave, head up and hop onto the rocks. Use a Grenade to blow up the boulder and jump over to fight the Medusa-incarnate Stheno. They're the closest things that come to a threat so far, they can Paralyze, Confuse and Petrify you, and when you've only got two party members, this is a bad thing. Head up the stairs and up past the new enemies; Fangpire, Avizzard, and the Jinn reincarnation Iflyte. In the red chest is the Moon Helm. It resists Fire damage and is invaluable in this dungeon.
Now head back to the entrance. Take the right stairs down, then down again and into the cave on the left. Fight your way right and up. Over the platforms, guarded by the Stheno, is the coveted Life Spell at long last. As of right now, Cure and Heal are obsolete, if you cast them, I will hurt you. Life restores HP to max and cures status, so now that you have it there's no reason to cast Cure or Heal ever again unless you want to heal both party members at once - then you can use Cure.
On to the main event[]
Okay, now if you missed it last time, I’m not just gonna wander around collecting random useless crap. Let’s skip to the boss. You want to wander around and find stuff you can buy anywhere, go ahead, not me. Go back to the room with the platforms and the boulder on the way to the Moon Helmet, and go past the line of enemies and chests to the right. Go down into a small area. Fight your way through the enemies, including the new Adamant Turtle, to find yourself outside. Kill the Iflyte and step on the switch. Those doors are where the boss is – now to find a way to get there. Go all the way back to the entrance of the first cave.
Climb down the short claw area and fight the Avizzard. Go down and into the cave. Fight you way to the stairs and go up. Go left and up onto the platforms. Go right and down, and hop across to an Adamant Turtle. Go up and left to some stairs up. Fight your way to the exit here. Outside, go up the stairs and into the cave. Go down the long stairs into a large room with more platforms. Fight your way down and kill the Salamand to go onto the middle platform. Hop to the right and fight your way down, going up and down the platforms on the way. Outside, you can enter those double-doors. Take the left fork and hop left, up, right and up to find the boss.
Dualhead Hydra is the Fiend of Fire, and unless you picked up that Moon Helmet, his Fire Breath is going to do over 500 damage. As it is it will still do 300. Bombard him with White spells and Morning Star shots and use Life when needed. When the beast dies, claim the Sun Coin and watch the Volcano erupt, the lava clearing a path down the mountain to Aquaria.
Go there to the Battlefield. The enemies here are pairs of Iflyte and Stheno, beat them for 1068 Exp. They seem to get a lot of preemptive strikes here, which is odd because the game calls those “unexpected attacks” – what unexpected, it’s a friggin’ Battlefield, we all know the attack is coming! Afterwards, well, I think you know where we're going next.
Back at the Focus Tower yet again. This time, open the purple door and go down the stairs. Down again into a new area, Doom Castle. Defeat the nearby enemy and claim the Aero spell from the chest. Then go back up the tower proper and exit through the right. Enter the Rope Bridge and watch Reuben fall off. Kill the Mummy and watch the small scene. Tristan shows up to help you. Damn. Well, finish the Bridge area. God damn, nothing here but that? You won’t find anything like that in FF VI. Nuh-uh, in a GOOD FF game, every town has some significance to either the plot or the gameplay by offering treasure or an important event. This place offers neither. Ugh. Well, move on to the Alive Forest.
Yet another pointless interlude[]
Are you tired of those? I am. Is this the last one in the game? I wish. Here, go right, down over the bridge and chop your way right until you see the tree with a face. Talk to it to get your next mission – head back to Aquaria and find Kaeli. Go down from the tree and chop and fight your way to the red chest – it holds the mighty Giant’s Axe for you. Now it’s a long trip back to Aquaria.
If you thought the Rope Bridge visit was pointless, hold onto your middle finger kiddies, it’s gonna get a real workout now! Talk to Phoebe in her house. Kaeli’s asleep, and rather than wake her up, you decide to visit Spencer. Down here, Spencer mentions he can’t dig down far enough to rescue Captain Mac, and only Otto in Windia can help. Ok, time out. Let’s look at a list of some of the greatest Final Fantasy characters ever:
Golbez
Kain
Rydia
Terra
Celes
Mog
Kefka
Cloud
Aeris
Vincent
Tifa
Zidane
Garnet
Vivi
Freya
Auron
Balthier
Ashe
THERE ARE NO OTTOS IN FINAL FANTASY GAMES!!!!!!!! Otto is not a FF name! Otto is the name of the stoner bus-driver on Simpsons! Otto is not a scientist name! Dear god I hate this game! Why God why, why do you torture me!?!? *sniff*....I'm almost in tears, this game is so bad. Really, would it have been so hard to name Otto Cid? Give me something, anything, there has to be a single redeeming quality in this game, are you trying to take away any hope of this game being good? Are you programmers actually making a conscious effort to make this game suck...
UPDATE - "Otto Cid Bekenstein"....he is a Cid. Okay, he's a mudblood Cid-Bekenstein, but I'll take it. And lo, out of the gloom did a single ray of hope emerge. Things are looking up for you, Mystic Quest.
Spencer and Tristan decide to run off treasure hunting, and Tristan gives you the weapon he snagged in the Bone Dungeon, the Dragon Claw. It’s another one of the few cool things in this game – that’s largely because it’s just the Hookshot with a fancy name. Grrrrr…Phoebe runs down and uses a Bomb. Depsite teaching you how to use them in Falls Basin, now she’s inept and causes a cave-in. WTF? Well, go back to her house and recruit Kaeli. So, let's see, Tristan joins you for about five seconds, Reuben mysteriously vanishes, and what was the point of putting Kaeli in Aquaria instead of leaving her in Foresta? God this game makes no sense!
Back to the Alive Forest. Talk to the Great Deku Tree, or Giant Tree or whatever it’s called. He’ll let you pass if you whack the monsters inside of him. Whack? Oh yeah, I’ll whack something alright! C’mon guys, you’ve both got Giant Axes, put them to use! Chop this motherfu*&%ker into kindling and move on, you’ve got a world to save! Ah well. Next time we enter the Giant Tree to kill Gomah, er, Gidrah. You can see how I would confuse those two…