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WARNING! The following text and/or links may contain SPOILERS!
about which I apologize to those who somehow do not yet know that Aeris died.

"[Maniacal Laugh]"
—Kefka Palazzo, Final Fantasy VI (To hear it, the audio sample is on the right of this page)

Death from above!
―The.Dreadnought, on using the Highwind limit break, any variation of Jump, or any other aerial attack in any game


Hello. I am Psycho Mantis. You do not believe my psychic powers? Place your controller on a hard, flat surface. [Waits for you to place PlayStation controller on hard, flat surface] Yes, that's good. [Vibrates controller and makes it move to the right about six inches.] NOW do you believe me? NO? Then let me dive into your mind... You are User. You are on The.Dreadnought's userpage. You have been on the Final Fantasy Wiki long enough to find this page. [Continues mocking Psycho Mantis...]

Subpages of this userpage:

TheDreadnought
You know what's more dangerous than Sephiroth AND a PTRS-41? Sephiroth WITH a PTRS-41.
Name The.Dreadnought
A.K.A Solid Snake. (Just kidding.)
Race 100% Human.
Job Class Gunner
Hometown You don't need to know. Although it could be Nibelheim, Narshe, or even St. Ivalice...
Date of Birth Again, you don't need to know.
Age Same again.
Height Ditto previous three.
IQ I can't say. I don't know it.
Weapon Of course, my personal weapon- the Dreadinator (see picture.) If feeling less desire to inflict collateral damage... Dual Bindsnipes, Dual Peacemakers (aka, having two Single Action Army revolvers), or Vincent's Death Penalty (the one from VII,) but with both hands. (More accurate.)
Equipment Thief's Hat, Adaman Armor, Genji Armlets, Battle Boots
Spells Haste, Shadow Flare, Giga Flare, Meteor, Cometeo, Meteoraga, Meteoraja, Force Choke, Thunder/Thundara/Thundaga, X-Zone, Big Guard
Abilities ALL "Gunmanship" abilities, all "Steal" abilities, Faster, Aim:Headshot, Return Fire, Doublesword/Double Wield
Reaction Abilities Strikeback, Bonecrusher, Return Magic
Summons Metal Gear, Lavos, Kane's Waffles, Knights of Square
limit breaks Ion Cannon Strike, "Omnishot," Satellite Beam, Yamato Cannon, AYBABTD, Kane's Wrath, Yuri's Revenge
typical strategy Steal everything that isn't nailed down, on fire, and booby-trapped with high explosives while in the middle of a minefield- ALL of those at once - then use physicals and magic in combination to completely remove any trace of the opposition from existence.

Where the hell did the name come from?Edit

Well, there is a British ship name, "Dreadnought." That was what my username was intended to be; whatever controls them wouldn't allow Dreadnought, so I changed it a bit. I've been using this name since '03 at least. Back to the ship name- the ship of that name mine is based on is the Dreadnought built in (apparently) 1906 (when I looked that up in a book on ships I have, it said 1904...) Anyway, it had 12 12-inch guns in six twin-mount turrets. Four of said turrets were centerlined (two forward, two aft, one each port and starboard) It carried 12 inches of armor plate, and could go 12 knots (for a battleship in the 1900s, that was impressive. Walking speed? My god! That's unfairly fast!) "dreadnought" (non-capitalized) is a generic classification of any large battleship now (originally, that implied, specifically, an "all-big-gun" battleship- one lacking secondary, smaller-size gun batteries) There are two other ships by that name I know of (both British): a Man-o'-War from the 1700s and an SSN. The battleship survived WWI and got decommissioned at some point. That isn't my favorite ship of all time (Unfortunately, Sovietsky Soyuz does not make a good username, nor were either ever completed.) It comes from the British with their peculiar, fancy words (or, in a different perspective, it only seems that way because North American english is just so...simple. Shortened. Abbreviated. Something like that) Dread means "fear" and "nought" means "nothing." The name sounded cool, and I liked it, and it just kinda 'worked.' So I stuck with it. Someone has made a comment on the DNC implying that my username is based on the destroyed airship from FFII; I never played FFII and this is just a coincidence.

Oh, and I finally discovered why it is I couldn't use "Dreadnought" alone: it was already taken, dammit! Some admin on the RuneScape wiki happens to use it. No relation whatsoever (unless said admin of said wiki happens to be someone I know, who should know better than to steal my username...*sharpens Masamune*) I found out because, looking for a stupid laugh, I searched "Dreadnought" on Uncyclopedia and got the userpage for Dreadnought. Damn. Oh, well. The.Dreadnought's close enough.

Did you know that...Edit

(This may be a satirical view, blah blah, legal warnings)

  • Ondore lied?
  • There are 6.0217 x 1023 atoms of Carbon-12 required to get exactly 12 grams of Carbon-12, and that this applies to 14 grams of Carbon-14, or 1 gram of Hydrogen-1, or 4 grams of Helium-4 as well? (This is called Avogadro's Number.)
  • In FFTA, "Instant Death" is not instant, and not permanent?
  • Undead things used to be dead, but aren't any longer?
  • That some anonymous user who needs to remember to sign votes and comments with four tildes is currently on The.Dreadnought's Userpage? (This you should definately know- it's you!)
  • That 2+2=4 (except in Oceania, where it equals 5)?
  • Arthas is Blizzard Entertainment's crappy excuse for an answer to Sephiroth?
  • That when pigs fly, pigs will have attained flight?
  • That the Buster Sword has been (oddly accurately) described as being a "giant kitchen knife?" (I didn't do it, but I thought I'd put it here anyway.)
  • That this is a parody of all those "Did you know that..." things in other places, describing obvious things, or things that you will likely never need to know, or want to know?

The Tonberry's Lantern ArenaEdit

Renamed as of 22:06, 9 June 2009 (UTC) from "Not-DNC" when a better name was found. New name is inspired by Sorceror Nobody's "Flan's Elbow Colosseum",

The DNC doesn't allow fights against anything not from FF anymore, so, because I feel like having some, I'll put them here. Say something on my talk page to suggest a fight. At the end of every week (or else whenever I get around to it- this being unimportant, unlike the real DNC, the timeline is variable) I'll change this, and make note of who won the last one, by what score. Please don't vote twice. And I will NOT, repeat NOT, put my own suggestions from the real DNC here, because that defeats the point of suggesting them. (In fact, it's extremely unlikely that I will ever put anything here where all combatants are from Final Fantasy.) I expect anyone suggesting something to do the same.

Current Battle: One-Winged Angel versus Hell MarchEdit

These two have a lot in common: they're my favorite pieces of music from the Final Fantasy and C&C game series, respectively; they both have at least three versions and a remix of the first one -One-Winged Angel (FFVII), Advent: One Winged Angel, Crisis Core OWA, and Dissidia OWA, compared to Hell March (C&C: Red Alert,) Hell March 2 (RA2,) Hell March 3 (RA3,) and Hell March Remix (RA3.) Both have the same starting in all versions, too- One Winged Angel is recognizable from the first two notes onward, Hell March is recognizable from the soldiers marching in all four versions, not to mention the identical four words of lyrics across all four HMs- "Die waffen, legt an!" (It's German, and has a meaning along the lines of "ready weapons")

OWA vs. Hell March
 
3
 
1
 

The poll was created at 22:10 on March 7, 2010, and so far 4 people voted.

Queued:

Previous BattlesEdit

Previous Battles
Battle Winner
the AI Director versus a Tonberry Tonberry, 3-0; the AI Director had it coming.
Shara versus The End Shara, 1-0. The End died of old age.
Dreadnought Leviathan vs Core Defender Tie, 1-1. I guess, although the Core Defender can't hit air units, the Leviathan is so big it doesn't matter.
Materia vs Tiberium Materia, 2-1. Tiberium came to Earth in a meteor; Materia allows one to call that meteor.
Yevon vs the Brotherhood of Nod Yevon, 2-1. "Kane lives- oh, wait..."
Biggs and Wedge vs Star Wars Biggs and Wedge FF Biggs and Wedge, 1-0
FF v Metal Gear Week:
SOLDIER vs FOXHOUND

Archadian Fleet vs the Arsenal Gear
Raiden vs Cloud Strife (Rematch)
Old Snake vs Strago Magus

FOXHOUND, 2-0. (FFWiki, 2-0; MGWiki, 0-0) Maybe it's Vulcan Raven's tank?

Arsenal Gear, 2-1. (FFWiki, 1-1; MGWiki, 1-0) At least this time FF got a vote in...maybe GW is malfunctioning?
Raiden, 1-0. (FFWiki, 1-0; MGWiki, 0-0) No comment.
Old Snake, 3-0. (FFWiki, 2-0; MGWiki, 1-0) Snake is awesome even when he should be retiring.

Back to normal
Raiden vs Not-Raiden Raiden, 3-1 (FFWiki score: 1-1 tie, Metal Gear wiki score: 2-0 for Raiden) - Colonel to Raiden: Raiden, that's Kadaj! Raiden: Never heard the name before.
Sephiroth vs Tyber Zann Sephiroth, 1-0. Corruption can't fuel your fleets well enough to stop the One-Winged Angel, Tyber Zann.
Gilgamesh the Incompetent vs General Grievously Wounded Gilgamesh the Incompetent, 2-0. Apparently more swords wins, even when both use more than they should.
Buster Sword vs High-Frequency Blade Tie, 1-1. Rematch will occur at some point; this is the second time Raiden and Cloud (their best-known users) have tied.
House Solidor vs House Atreides Tie, 1-1. No comment this time.
FF v StarCraft Week:
Shadow vs Zeratul

"Proud Clod" vs Terran Thor
Aeris vs Tassadar

Tie: 1-1. The Assassin assassinated the Dark Templar, but somehow, died in the attempt...?

Tie: 1-1. Due to the time taken for the artillery shells to travel to their targets, both destroyed each other.
Aeris, 2-0. Holy works on the Gantrithor, too; it's not just for meteors anymore.

FF v C&C Week:

Balthier vs Havoc

Seymour vs Kane

Al Bhed Crawler vs X-66 Mammoth Tank

Havoc, 1-0. "I've got a present for ya!" (*Combat Log: Havoc readies Detonate*) *BOOM!* (*Combat Log: Balthier has fallen.*)

Tie: 0-0. Either the polls are broken (they might be; I can't actually vote on them anymore- on this wiki or the C&C one) or nobody cared.
Mammoth Tank, 1-0.

Back to normal
Yevon vs the Patriots Tie, 0-0. Nobody cared.
SOLDIER vs the Black Hand The Black Hand, 3-0. One vision. One purpose.
FFVI Imperial Troopers vs Terran Marines Imperial Troopers, 2-1. (Apparently, someone really did want a piece of the Marines...)
Dreadnaught vs the Norad II Norad II, 1-0. The Dreadnaught got shot down, but the Terrans emerge victorious once again!
Magitek Armor vs Metal Gear REX Tie: 1-1 (same as previous three-way battle.)
Magitek Armor vs GDI Titan Assault Mech vs Metal Gear MTek Armor and MG Rex, 1-1-0 against the Titan. (Otacon to Snake: "The Titan may be a mech-killer, but you have me on your side. And a suit of Gestahlian MagiTek Armor, too.")
Tifa vs The Boss Tifa Lockheart, 2-0. (Ocelot on telephone: "Yes, the Boss has accomplished her mission....")
Shadow vs Solid Snake Solid Snake, 1-0. Shadow's Dog Tags now belong to Snake, who used them to unlock the Infinite Ammunition Bandana.
Cloud Strife vs MGS2 Raiden Tie: 1-1
Sephiroth vs Big Boss Big Boss, 3-0. Possibly due to Big Boss using the Force er, Fork.
Vincent Valentine VS Revolver Ocelot Vincent Valentine, 2-1. Ocelot gave up his left arm to Grey Fox; we now know his right was lost to Vincent. And we finally know where Vincent got that Single Action Army, which he calls a "Peacemaker."

The Elements That Have Been Left Out of the Periodic TableEdit

+----------------+ +----------------+ +----------------+
|  119    (292)  | |  120    (291)  | |  121    (299)  |  
|   -            | |   -            | |   -            |  
|   -            | |   -            | |   -            | 
|   -            | |   -            | |   -            |   
|      Awe       | |      Own       | |       Ma       |  
|  ....,,,,....  | |  ....,,,,....  | |  ....,,,,....  |  
|   Awesomenium  | |     Ownium     | |    Materium    |  
+----------------+ +----------------+ +----------------+
 
+----------------+ +----------------+ +----------------+  
|  122    (298)  | |  123    (306)  | |  124    (305)  |  
|   -            | |   -            | |   -            |  
|   -            | |   -            | |   -            |  
|   -            | |   -            | |   -            |  
|       Ep       | |      Mag       | |       Fa       |  
|  ....,,,,....  | |  ....,,,,....  | |  ....,,,,....  |  
|    Epicnium    | |   Magicitium   | |    Failium     |  
+----------------+ +----------------+ +----------------+
 
                   +----------------+  
                   |  125    (313)  |  
                   |   -            |  
                   |   -            |  
                   |   -            |  
                   |       Dn       |  
                   |  ....,,,,....  |  
                   | Dreadnoughtium |  
                   +----------------+

About MeEdit

Much of this section either has nothing whatsoever to do with FF, or only mentions it in passing. This is probably because I've only played actual Final Fantasy games since sometime in April 2008, when I finally managed to get my Tactics Advance cartridge to work. Since then, I found out what I was missing. And rapidly made up for it. All those years of nothing but playing StarCraft, C&C, Ratchet & Clank and Metal Gear Solid have left an impression, though, so be warned of sudden references. Because I might be willing to trade your R.Y.N.O. for my robot. Or set Metal Gear Rex on you. And I mention the Mammoth Tank, Ion Cannon and Solid Snake a lot. (See? I just mentioned all three in one sentence!)

And, as good as FF games are, Command & Conquer, as the following list shows, still beats even the best of FF games. You are free to disagree. Just not here. Also, be warned that if you disagree with me, I have a pet Tonberry. And it does what I tell it to, very slowly and ominously. (That was meant as a joke, so don't take it seriously.)

Finally, Kane does NOT live in death. Kane survives long enough for me to completely obliterate the Temple of Nod with 250 Mammoth Tanks again in death.

Top 10 Video Games of All TimeEdit

  1. Command & Conquer: Yuri's Revenge
  2. Final Fantasy VII
  3. Metal Gear Solid 3 (Snake Eater OR Subsistence)
  4. StarCraft
  5. Chrono Trigger (SNES version)
  6. Command & Conquer Renegade
  7. Command & Conquer: Tiberian Sun/Firestorm Expansion
  8. Final Fantasy VI (SNES version released in North America as Final Fantasy III)
  9. Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
  10. Command & Conquer (the original one, sometimes called "Tiberian Dawn")

Other Wikias I happen to edit from time to time include the Chrono wiki, C&C wiki (it calls itself the EVA Database, anyone who's played Renegade knows why) and StarCraft wiki, all as The.Dreadnought. And, of course, though more rarely, Wikipedia itself (anonymously, since I edit it about three times a year these days)

Four more things I have to say:

Yeah, hoo boy, the Planet calling...alright.
―Cid Highwind, Final Fantasy VII

Behold that mural. The Ultimate Destructive Magic, Meteor.
―Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII

Legends are usually bad news.
―Solid Snake, Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (non-FF)

The answer is 42.

Various Table-Based Best and Worst ListsEdit

CharactersEdit

Characters
Category Best Second Best Third Best Worst
Overall Sephiroth "Whiteylocks" - very, very close second Yuffie, Locke (tie) Cyan was too horrible to mention
Male Protagonist Locke Cloud Tidus Marche, Vaan
Female Protagonist Yuna (X; Tidus be damned) Terra
Male Supporting Character Vincent Shadow Sabin Montblanc (Cyan is too horrible to even mention)
Female Supporting Character Ritz Celes Penelo, Shara (It's a shame Sephiroth doesn't live in Ivalice...)
Female Bubbly Ditz Yuffie (A lot of people hate her, but I've killed Sephiroth 5 times running with her physical attacks...) Rikku (X) Relm ALL of the rest
Temporary Player Character Sephiroth Aeris (Major, but still temporary...) Vicks and Wedge Leo (He was powerful, but I didn't even notice his death)
Villain Sephiroth Kefka Llednar Seymour. Why the hell can't he just stay f***ing dead?
Recurring Boss Reno Slash (Chrono Trigger) Rude Ultros and Seymour
Gunner Vincent Valentine FFTA Job Class All other Gunners No such thing as a Gunner I dislike (Irvine is a sniper, not a gunner.)
Thief Locke Cole (oops, he's a "Treasure Hunter") Rikku (X), despite being annoying Other Thief characters in general, except... ...Vaan. Did I really have to specify that?
Dragoon Cid Highwind Edgar, Mog (VI); tie Any other "Highwind" Dragoon, particularly Kain FFTA Job Class, mostly 'cause Bangaa are too slow to be useful
Machinist-Type Edgar Figaro Barret Wallace (finally I figure out what job class to consider him!) Gadgeteer Job Gadgeteer Job (when it backfires)
Balanced Warrior Locke Cole Cloud Strife (Omnislash. Need I say more?) SOLDIER job class (Limit Skill -> Omnislash. 'nuff said.) Marche (as a Soldier)
Samurai Sephiroth (goes here, because of the Masamune) Auron Crono (Chrono Trigger) Frog (Chrono Trigger) and... I won't mention Cyan Garamonde.
Monk Tifa Lockheart (moved up a notch in AC) Sabin Figaro Big Boss (Metal Gear) FFTA Job
White Mage Aeris Gainsborough Yuna (X) FFTA Nu Mou White Mage FFTA Job Class (otherwise)
Black Mage Lulu (Beats Kefka by being a playable character) Kefka Palazzo FFTA Job Class Montblanc (TA; no clue what he is in XII, though I still dislike him)
Red Mage Celes, Terra (tie; formerly second best WM/BM but reclassified due to VI's ambiguous magic classes) Relm
Ninja (includes Assassins, failed Ninjas, and wannabes) Yuffie Kisaragi (once tied with Shadow. Then I realized Shadow couldn't kill things with a paper crane, but Yuffie can.) Shadow Job, other Ninja-type characters Ninja-Raiden (MGS2: Substance VR mode; MGS4)
VI Character Locke Kefka Shadow The Whiny Dumbshit Technophobe; Umaro the Useless
VII Character Sephiroth Yuffie Vincent Cait Sith Number 2 (at least the first one died.)
X Character Auron Lulu (Someone has to cast Thundaga, after all...) Yuna Seymour
XII Character Fran (the only one showing any common sense at all) Balthier Ashe (the non-Gunner who's the only character from XII who can kick ass with a gun) The rest, especially Vaan and Penelo

MusicEdit

Music
Category Best Second Best Third Best Worst Honorable Mention
(Non-Boss-) Battle Theme Final Fantasy X Final Fantasy VI Those Who Fight (VII) Final Fantasy XII At least FFTA had one. XII doesn't seem to.
(Non-Final-) Boss Battle Theme Decisive Battle (VI) Birth of a God AC version of Jenova Absolute Did Tactics Advance even HAVE one? Those Who Fight Further, FFX
Final Battle Theme Contrary to the pattern here, One Winged Angel. Dancing Mad All others Never heard a final battle theme I disliked. (Then again, I never heard that music in VIII...) No Honorable Mention, because all not named tied for third.
Character Theme One-Winged Angel Aeris' Theme Cid's Theme Most of the others just annoy me. Too bad about all that effort...
"Dungeon" (or other non-town area full of enemies to own) Theme Kefka's Tower (VI) Dreadnought Leviathan (XII) Northern Crater (VII) The Cloister of Trials|Cluster-F***s of Trials (X) Mako Reactors (VII)
Overall One Winged Angel Birth of a God Decisive Battle Hard to say. Too many that I forget or that tie for this. Dancing Mad, FFX normal battle music, Kefka's Tower BGM

Random stuff all in one placeEdit

Random Stuff
Category Best Second Best Third Best Worst Honorable Mention
Job Class Fencer / Gunner (tie) Thief Treasure Hunter (It's cheaper than playing nice.) Paladin Morphist, Blue Mage, AND Berserker "Top Ranking SOLDIER Officer"
Summon Odin, the esper/summon/kitchen sink/Norse mythological deity of OWN Ramuh (VII) Bahamut ZERO Titan and Ifrit Raiden in FFVI, because Odin evolves into...WTF? STEELIX? and Shiva (Explain it yourself, for once!)
Spell Meteor Shadow Flare, Meteor, Thundaga (or Bolt 3), Meteor Ultima (for something that powerful, the animation sure is lame.) Flare, Meteor, Cometeo
FFTA S-Ability Doublesword Concentrate, Doublesword Half MP, Doublesword MP Turbo (on an MP-using class; given to a Fencer or Gunner it's awesome) Doublesword
Non-Magic, non-Summon Materia Steal Command Counter Enemy Skill Surprise Attack (accidentally using Ultima and 100MP is annoying) Added Effect (needs pairing with Hades on a weapon)
Death Scene Aeris' (First time I may have felt large quantities of non-anger/happiness emotion while playing a video game) Tassadar (StarCraft; that was just so f---ing awesome.) Still Tassadar's. Leo's. (I came back three minutes later with a sandwich- Huh? Leo died? [shrug] If you guessed Tassadar, you're STILL right! Also, Cait Sith's. (Would be Second but for Number Two.)
Airship Black Omen (Chrono Trigger- it's where the Leviathan, it's non-2D lookalike, came from) Epoch (Chrono Trigger,) Highwind (VII) Blackjack (VI) None The rest

WeaponsEdit

Weapons
Category Best Second Best Third Best Worst Honorable Mention
Sword/Blade-type Weapon Sephiroth's Masamune (See the pattern yet? If Sephy qualifies, he wins. Period.) Ragnarok (VII, for coolness) / Ragnarok (VI, for Flare) Aerial Hole (A sword that cuts a hole in the fraggin' AIR? SICK!) ALL Gunblades, even Vincent's. Also, Frog's Shit-a-Mune in Chrono Trigger. Sequence (FFTA), HF Blade (Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty), Atma Weapon (ONLY in FFVI,) First Tsurugi
Rod/Staff-type Weapon Thor Rod (FFTA- Crystalized fraggin' LIGHTNING? STILL sick!) Flame Rod, or whatever (FFTA- I'm a pyromaniac, OK?) Guard Stick (Aeris' basic equip weapon, because that's what it is) Cure Rod. Guess why. Same with Heal Rod. Thor Rod (See "best")
Ranged Weapon Vincent's original Death Penalty (VII) / Bindsnipe (FFTA) (tie) SAA Revolver (fine. "Peacemaker.") Heavy Vulcan (VII) FFTA "Longbow" Outsider (TA/VII,) other variants of Vincent's Death Penalty
Spear "Gunge Lance" (VII mistrans- it's the Gungnir.) Odin's Lance (same thing, but equippable weapon in FFTA) Kain's Lance (FFTA) Most of them Viper Halberd
"Other" Weapon Yuffie's Conformer (VII- best ultimate weapon in every one of these games) Yuffie's Oritsuru (a lethal...paper crane?) Relm's Master Brush or whatever it was called Anything and everything Red XIII and Cait Sith can equip as a weapon Yuffie's Conformer, Lulu's various Cacutar-based weapons (they should have made the instant-KO one a Tonberry, but didn't...)
Superweapon Mako Cannon/Sister Ray Cloud Prod (Proud Clod has to be a mistranslation. It has to be. That thing has nothing to do with dirt.) The Defender-Turret-thingamajig in Kefka's Tower, the airships Leviathan and Dreadnaught None The missile Cid used in X to destroy Home, Metal Gear DIAMOND

Things that should have been in certain FF games, but weren'tEdit

Yes, another list. (Maybe I should come up with things that aren't lists...) Anyway, these are some things I just thought belonged in various FF games, that should have been there. but which Square did not add, either from lack of space, or something.

Tactics AdvanceEdit

Ways to get more Tactical

A-Abilities
Name Effects MP Cost Ability Set
Aim:Headshot Very low hit rate, but causes really instant KO (as in, KO right the f--- now!) 0 Sharpshoot (Sniper)
Lightning Strike Physical attack ignoring R-Abilities (like Faster or Greased Bolt) 0 Lunge Tech (Fencer)
Shadow Flare Click the linked name, see "FFVII Enemy Skills" or go fight Sephiroth 80 Alchemy Skill, or Sagacity Skill (Alchemist or Sage, if you couldn't figure that out)
Meteoraga Incalculable non-elemental area damage. 120 Alchemy Skill
Meteoraja Unimaginable non-elemental large area damage. (ie, Meteor with a Summon's area of effect, but it does about 3 times the damage) (Was used once. It required Holy AND the Lifestream to stop it, and Midgar was destroyed anyway.) 250 Alchemy Skill
C.Box ("Cardboard Box") Works like "conceal" but the user hides in a cardboard box. Even using "move" will cancel this, but being hit doesn't. 0 Ninja Skill


Final Fantasy VIIEdit

If Square ever figures out how to improve upon perfection and remakes FFVII, these pieces of Materia would help.

Materia Pieces
Name Type Number of Levels Effects
Jump Command Materia 2 (Jump, Master) Adds the "Jump" command. Other than not changing Fight into Jump, works just like the Dragoon Boots from FFVI. Possibly have Cid join the party with this.
Stealth Command (or Magic) Materia 3 (Conceal, Stealth Illusion, Master) If Command: Allows "Stealth" command set; if magic, then abilities go under Magic. Allows Conceal at Level 1 (Makes one character Invisible) and Stealth Illusion (makes party Invisible) at Level 2. Found.
Aimed Attack Command Materia 5 Adds "Aimed Attack" command. Aimed Attack is an automatic-hit low-damage weapon attack. (Like the "Featherblow" Lunge Tech in FFTA) At level 1, does 30% of "Fight" damage, L2 does 35% damage, L3 does 40%, L4 does 45%, and Master does 50% of normal physical damage. Either have Vincent join with this, or it can be both found and bought.


Explanation of the Limit Breaks/Summons not derived from an FF gameEdit

Omnishot: Remember Omnislash? Same idea- only you can't "slash" with a gun. (Think what Vincent was doing while fighting Bahamut WHATEVER in Advent Children. That's fairly close.)

Ion Cannon Sattelite Strike: Sort of similar to Barret Wallace's "Satellite Beam," but far, far more awesome. This is the G.D.I. superweapon in Command & Conquer. And goes well with the expression "Death from above!"

Yamato Cannon: Like I said, I'm a StarCraft addict. (And yes, I do partake in StarCraftaholics Anonymous meetings. NOT.) The Terran Battlecruiser has this awesome weapon called a Yamato Cannon. It works by using an electromagnetic field to focus all the energy from a nuclear detonation into a coherent beam, eliminating (somehow) the radioactive fallout and collateral damage, while retaining the kick-ass-ness.

AYBABTD: Acronym for "All Your Base Are Belong To Dreadnought"; in other words, I kick the enemy's ass, and control the present, By controlling the present, I command the past. By commanding the past, I conquer the future. They are erased from existence as a result; even Chuck Norris can't counter this.

Kane's Wrath: this is the article (when it mentions the Liquid-T Bomb) that explains what happens.

Yuri's Revenge: Also named after a Command & Conquer title. A psychic guy named Yuri builds Psychic Dominators all over the planet and controls everyone's minds. Unfortunately for Yuri, I supported the Soviet Union...and, "In Soviet Russia, You Mind-Controls YURI!"


Kane's Waffles: Uncyclopedian parody of Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath. I named it after that; it involves summoning a giant waffle that doesn't die when the Ion Cannon hits it.

Metal Gear: summon Metal Gear. Not magical, but powerful being it is.

Lavos: Magus was interrupted in 600AD in Chrono Trigger, trying to summon it to kill it. Schala and Crono died when Queen Zeal accidentally (?) summoned it in 12000 BC (Crono got revived...oops, spoiler...) And I intend to finish the job

Knights of Square: very similar to Knights of Round; it instead summons characters from Square RPGs, especially Final Fantasy, in pairs (from a certain game.) Each pair does damage on the order of quintuple nines (even in four-digit damage limit games, like VII or CT!) except when otherwise stated.) Like this: First group: Bahamut, Neo Bahamut, Bahamut ZERO (together) -> OmniFlare (99999 non-elemental damage;) Second group: Lavos and Crono (Lavos uses "chaos rains from above" and Crono uses Luminaire- 99999 damage to all (non-elemental) + 99999 damage (Holy-Lightning or CT "Light") to all;) Kefka + Terra (99999 non-elemental, attack at same time and collateral damage does this;) Sephiroth and Cloud (Octaslash and Omnislash, for 199998 damage 8 times and 99999 damage 16 times...) well, you get the idea. Actually, it's so powerful, that nobody actually summons Knights of Square- Knights of Square summons you, just because it can.

Other things I am currently doing/planning to doEdit

(C&C Player Advisor voice) - Unable to comply. Building in progress.

1. Finish assaulting Kefka's Tower. (Halted because I don't have Mog or Umaro, and have Cyan, Gau, Gogo and Setzer in my third party- my lowest level, worst characters. Only Setzer of these even had magic that far into the game. And we all know Captain Whiny Dumbshit sucks.) Done.

2. Get the Mythril Gun, teach my Gunner "Gun Combo," then go kill that supposedly-invincible pansy Llednar, and steal his sword first just for effect. Gun Combo is not necessary for this- it'll just make my main character's ridiculously large two-Excaliburs-Combat-Combo+Someone-Else's-Lunge-Combo+Someone-Else's-Gold-Combo+Omnislash+Kitchen-Sink+Metal-Gear+42 combo look that much cooler and cause that much more overkill. If Llednar sees what's coming his way, he'll be yelling the following: AAAAAAAAA!

3. Discover the secret of how to fight Tonberries. (Done: the secret to fighting Tonberries is...DON'T. Just say AAAAAAAAA! and run like there's no tomorrow, and then some...because if you don't run like there's no tomorrow, chances are, there won't be.)

4. Actually eat snake meat. (I hear it's not that bad, really...)

5. Write a walkthrough for the PC version of FFVII, 'cause Drake Clawfang's and BlueHighwind's are for the PlayStation version (just beyond foreseeable future)

6. Get a life (in progress)

7. Get a new Final Fantasy game, before I die of boredom/having-time-to-do-my-homework

8. Beat Metal Gear Solid 3 yet again (this marks the Tenth time)

10. Do my homework (after Hell freezes over)

11. Work on that procrastination problem (maybe later...)

12. Get the needed equipment and take up fencing, in reality. (I'm not joking, that one's serious.)

13. Stop arguing with Neo Bahamut over the Materia system in VII being part of people's jobs (see "Do my Homework", above)

14. Create one of those awesome talk-box-things (in progress. Will be done probably about an hour from now.) (Done. Results below.)

15. Hide in a Cardboard Box, to see if it works.

16. Create a black hole and jump in, just to see what happens.

17. Calculate the answer to life, the universe, and everything. (Done. It worked out to 42.)

18. Calculate the meaning of life, the universe, etc. (Done. It seems to be 0.)

19. Double-Check the answer to 18, above. (Done, twice. Still comes out to 0.)

20. Rearrange the equation a=b to get 0=1 (Internet Explorer message- "Done, with errors on page.")

21. Finish the parody of the ending credits of Final Fantasy VI: A cardboard box sits on the table: Snake as SOLID SNAKE

22. If its the last thing I do, I'll die. (Duh.)

Where I'm at (if I possess and currently play the game)Edit

FFVII: Have completed. Now have a Gold Chocobo and Knights of Round. Time to finish getting all the Enemy Skills (unfortunately, I have to return to the Northern Crater to get Pandora's Box, Bad Breath, Roulette, and Shadow Flare, and it only lets you leave once.) Also going to go hunt down the Ruby and Emerald Weapons (I once got a one-hit-game-over from Ruby Weapon, now it's time to Return-To-Sender!) - Current status of Ruby Weapon

~ 560,000 damage of ~ 800,000 HP (~240,000 HP left) using Knights of Round 1-HP Absorb 1 + Mime
~ 100,000 damage of ~ 800,000 HP (~700,000 HP left) using Ultima Weapon/All Lucky Sevens
~ 001,000 damage of ~ 800,000 HP (~799,000 HP left) using Ultima Weapon Omnislash alone ("Ultimaslash")

New plan: keep Mime and KoR/HP absorb, but get a second KoR (like I'll ever have that much AP- by then I could just use the Death Penalty glitch to kill both Weapons...) and pair it with MP Turbo to do 50% more damage. Five summons to death, rather than nine. I can get five before Ultima and Ruby Ray hit on the same turn.

FFVI:

FFX: Collecting Ultimate "Celestial" weapons.

FFXII: Done with everything up to Giruvegan but I need to go kick random marks around the corner. And probably use Balthier and Basch again at some point, since they're at levels 12 and 11 respectively (whereas That Idiot, Ashe and Fran are at level 46, Penelo is level 24 due to having been used against Orthros)

FFTA: Leveling people up and mastering a few more A-Abilities before destroying Llednar, and finishing the final boss...without getting hit even once. (This will be a major "OWNED! WHO'S INVINCIBLE NOW, B----?" moment when it happens.)

Chrono Trigger: Blasting everything in the Black Omen apart, then achieving Easiest ending (#1); have already achieved Hardest (Ocean Palace, 12000 BC ending- the one where you have to die to Lavos to continue the game...I didn't know that, and just kept trying. I won.)

Talk Bubble HistoryEdit

Sort of a history, so far.


Vincent-FFVIIArt


Ffta-moogle-gunner
Ffta-moogle-gunner
Ffta-moogle-gunner
Ffta-moogle-gunner

Important Things Relating To BooksEdit

"Important" Books I've ReadEdit

According to what I learned in English. That generally means, avoid reading this at all costs.

  • 1984
  • Brave New World
  • To Microwave A Mockingbird
  • Farenheit 451 (multiple times; also the exception to prove the rule.)

Books I've Read that You Should Too (eventually)Edit

  • Farenheit 451
  • 1984. How else could you appreciate doubleplusgood Newspeak jokes, unperson?

Books To Avoid Reading If At All PossibleEdit

If it's here, I read it, and hope others can learn from my mistake.

  • Anything with the word "Dune" (capitalized) in its name. (If you are a desert-lover who enjoys inflicting pain upon yourself, though, then by all means, enjoy yourself by reading it.)
  • Anything they tell you to read in English class
  • Any of Shakespeare's plays (in book form; also part of the above)

FAILED FINAL FANTASY JOBSEdit

DragoonEdit

Dragoon: I'm going to jump into the air, then land on that enemy's head with a spear!
(Uses Jump)
Enemy: Uh-oh, he's gonna impale me from above...(gets idea) ...wait a second....
(Enemy steps a few feet to the side, holds up own spear where he was before)
Dragoon: Crap! I can't change directions in mid-flight!
(Dragoon impales himself fatally on the spear)
Enemy: Problem solved.

SummonerEdit

Summoner: I can summon powerful magical beings to attack you!
(Summons powerful magical being called Kujata; the Enemy absorbs it)
Enemy: Your summons are useless against me!
(Summoner summons a few other things, all of which the Enemy blocks)
Summoner: I'm going to summon Bahamut! You can't block the King of Dragons!
Summoner: Oh no! I'm out of Magic Points! And I have no Ethers!
Enemy: Ha ha ha ha ha!
(Enemy kills Summoner)

MonkEdit

Monk: Hey, look! That Enemy is a Knight with a Giant Sword! I'm going to go take him on with my bare hands!
(Attacks Knight)
Knight: What the--?
(Counterattacks, and misses)
Even bigger fail: the Monk wins!

AlchemistEdit

Alchemist: I'm going to turn this lead into gold!
Enemy: You can't do that; particle accelerators don't exist in Final Fantasy!
Alchemist: Damn! Oh, well, then. (Chucks the lead into the air)
Enemy 2 (just arriving): What's up?
Alchemist: See for yourself (gesture- points upward)
(A Meteor falls on the Enemies)
Alchemist: Hey! Look! There's gold in that meteorite!

Primary Final Fantasy Laws Of PhysicsEdit

The Laws of Physicks

"User...boxes, correct?"Edit

(If you don't get the joke, go play Chrono Trigger until you get the not-usable but fixed Masamune. Then go talk to the Old Man at the End of Time. "The Masa...mune, correct?")

Userboxes - Final Fantasy Series
VIThis user has completed {{Expansion depth limit exceeded|{{Expansion depth limit exceeded|rel|{{{Expansion depth limit exceeded}}}|name}}|class={{{Expansion depth limit exceeded}}}b}}.
VIIThis user has completed Final Fantasy VII.
AC This user has watched Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.
Watched
VIIThis user is a fan of Final Fantasy VII.
VIIThis user is a fan of Final Fantasy VII.
VIIThis user is a fan of Final Fantasy VII.
CCThis user is a fan of Crisis Core -Final Fantasy VII-.
reserved for Dirge of Cerberus
VIThis user is a fan of Final Fantasy VI.
XThis user is a fan of Final Fantasy X.
DissidiaThis user is a fan of Dissidia Final Fantasy.
reserved for Final Fantasy XIII
and, say what you will, but...
X-2This user doesn't mind Final Fantasy X-2, regardless of it being a rather obvious fanservice.
TAThis user is a fan of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance.
Did you know that, aside from this text, this box is totally empty? (Oh, and some dark matter, and a couple of neutrinos.)
Userboxes - Final Fantasy Wiki
th_User_browser_firefox.png This user prefers Mozilla Firefox.


th_User_browser_IE7.png This user thinks that all users who prefer Internet Explorer deserve what they get.
Ultros-field-ffvi-ios Uwee hee! Come to the Colosseum and vote on this week's fight:
CONGRATS TO THE CHAMPION, GILGAMESH!
KefkapointsThis user is growing extremely tired of fixing the DNC Nominations page. FOLLOW THE GODDAMNED RULES!
Wiki This user has been a member of the Final Fantasy Wiki since 30/03/09 (30th Mar. '09).
Coincidentally, there have been time paradoxes since 30/03/09, too.
Userb e100 This user has over 100 edits.
...mainspace edits, anyway...
Userb enon This user believes that an edit count doesn't necessarily reflect on the value of their contributions.
Killerfish-ff2-psp Whack! This user has been hit with a WikiTrout.
FFT-enemy-Uribo This user is a WikiSloth.
This user makes userboxes now and then. Examples can be found here and here.
Userboxes - About Me
th_CnC_Nod_logo.jpg This user plays the Command & Conquer series of games as well.
Metal GearThis user knows how to think inside the box
Userbox ff7-cidThis user wants you to sit your ass down in that chair and SIGN YOUR GODDAMNED VOTES!
StarCraftThis user knows that the only allies are enemies.
MGSThis user is one of the twin Snakes
MGS3SThis user requires Subsistence
XiiEnergyAir, Earth, Fire and Water be damned, this user is of the Lightning element.
This user likes to use <span class="insertusername">User</span>, anonymous user.
AB Drec ican ec y vmiahd cbaygan uv Al Bhed.
← And did that with only two primers, relying on pure logic and context to work it out.
th_ZPlogo.png This user likes Zero Punctuation (despite Yahtzee's poor opinion of JRPGs)
← Although I agree on the subject of FFXIV...
Userb male This user is a male.
en This user is a native speaker of English.
Userbox psp This user owns a PSP.


Userbox ps3 This user owns a PS3.


Userboxes - Square-Enix's Mistakes
Aeris Portrait This user doesn't give a damn
if Square wants to retcon it.
HER NAME IS STILL AERIS!
Terra Branford smallThis user doesn't give a damn if Square wants to retcon it. Terra's hair is GREEN.
FFXI logo This user thinks that only an idiot decides to put an online game in the main series
90x60px This user thinks that putting
a second online game in the main series is beyond idiocy
Luca-City This user hates the laughing scene
in FFX. Then again, so does every other sane person in the universe
Credit for all of these is due to Sorceror Nobody, with the exception being the "Terra's Hair is Green" userbox (I made that one.) They can be found here.
Userboxes - The Music, the Characters and the Truly Random
Sephiroth icon This user is a one-winged angel.
Bizz-Sephbox This user has witnessed the birth of a god.
Sephiroth icon This user is an Heir to the Planet.
Kefkapoints Life...dreams...hope...these things, this user is going to DESTROY!
FFTA ezel Judges rub this user the wrong way.
FF6 IOS Imperial Brown This user is an Imperial Trooper.
Shadow (Final Fantasy VI) smallThis user follows their own path... by walking silently and having a dog that eats strangers.
Cyan Garamonde smallThis user hates...CYAN. And can't figure out how to superimpose a red X on his picture yet.
FFTA marcheThis user wants to destroy Ivalice, no matter how shitty the real world this action will return is.
1000x45pxAll Your Eight Wyverns Wyrms Dragons Are Belonging To This User.
1000x45pxThis user has an Ultimate End attack
GuardianThis user's battle programs won't let you pass
Usebox-Sephiroth This user will... never be a memory.
RenoACPortrait Looks like today this user is clockin' out early.
Userb-X-2 Yuna This user doesn't like your plan. It sucks.
FFTA ritzThis user thinks Ritz is awesome, unlike the other protagonist of FFTA.


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