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This article is a collection of trivia and a few of my opinions on several aspects of the FF games, plus some of my favourite quotes.

Final Fantasy VI[]

Selection of Quotes[]

All of these quotes are from the PlayStation version of the game unless stated to be from the GBA version.

Edgar Roni Figaro menu.png Quote: Edgar, at the party's first encounter with Shadow
"That's SHADOW...! He'd slit his mama's throat for a nickel!"

Shadow (Final Fantasy VI) menu.png Quote: Shadow, if the player interacts with Interceptor after the above introduction
"Leave us. The dog eats strangers..."

FF6UltrosFirst.PNG Quote: Ultros, at the start of the first fight against him
"Uwee hee hee... Game over! Don't tease the octopus, kids!"

Shadow (Final Fantasy VI) menu.png Quote: Shadow, when recruited at Gau's father's house
"The Reaper is always just a step behind me..."

Kefka Palazzo menu.png Quote: Kefka Palazzo, while poisoning Doma Castle's water supply
"Hee, hee! Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison!"

Kefka - Laugh.gif Quote: Kefka, after being stabbed by Celes

Final Fantasy VII[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Barret PortraitNB.png Quote: Barret, in response to Prez. Shinra calling AVALANCHE vermin
"Y'all Shinra're the VERMIN, killing the planet! And that makes you King VERMIN! So shu'up jackass!"

Tifa Portrait.jpg Quote: Tifa, multiple times when interrogating Don Corneo
"Talk! If you don't tell us..."
Cloud Portrait.jpg Quote: Cloud, making the first threat
"...I'll chop them off."
Aeris Portrait.jpg Quote: Aeris, making the second threat
"...I'll rip them off."
Tifa Portrait.jpg Quote: Tifa, making the third threat
"...I'll smash them."

Tifa Portrait.jpg Quote: Tifa, in response to Barret's complaints when sneaking into Shinra HQ via the stairs
"Would you stop acting like a retard and climb!"

Barret PortraitNB.png Quote: Barret, on the subject of inverse logic in video games
"'Sides, we can't have 5 people strolling down the fields. It's too dangerous"

Cloud Portrait.jpg Quote: Cloud, on the subject of Barret's sailor suit
"Ahhh...... You look like a bear wearing a marshmallow"
Barret PortraitNB.png Quote: Barret, in response to the above
"The hell's that supposed to mean!? This happens to be the most comfortable, so shu'up!"

Cid Portrait.jpg Quote: Cid, to the party after instructing Shera to make some tea
"Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and drink your goddamn TEA!"

Yuffie Portrait.jpg Quote: Yuffie, while tied to Da Chao by Don Corneo
"Oh GAWD! If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've taken rope escape lessons more seriously!!"
Vincent Portrait.jpg Quote: Vincent, to Don Corneo shortly after the above
"I don't care what you're doing, so much as the idiotic way you're doing it..."

Yuffie Portrait.jpg Quote: Yuffie, during the awkward silence following her kissing Cloud on the Gold Saucer date
"......gawd, I could just die! Say something, PLEASE!"
Cloud Portrait.jpg Quote: Cloud, in response to the above
This is followed by the sound of Yuffie slapping Cloud

Barret PortraitNB.png Quote: Barret, in response to Cloud worrying about Sephiroth's influence over him
"I'll go upside your spikey white head and bring you back to normal!"

Sephiroth Portrait.jpg Quote: Sephiroth, in response to Cloud's grief at Aeris's death
"What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings too?"
Cloud Portrait.jpg Quote: Cloud's reply to the above
Of course! Who do you think I am!?
Sephiroth Portrait.jpg Quote: Sephiroth's retort
"Ha, ha, ha...... Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need
to act as though you're angry either. Because, Cloud. You are..."
Jenova Headless.jpg Quote: Jenova, completing Sephiroth's sentence after Jenova-LIFE is defeated
"Beacause, you are...... a puppet"
The extra "a" in "beacause" is probably a typo, but the mistake isn't mine – it's like that in the game

Cloud Portrait.jpg Quote: Cloud, while suffering from Mako Poisoning
"uh......ah...... . aah......"
"......... What...... What number...... . am I?"
"A billion mirror fragments......small......light......"
"taken......angel's......singing voices...... ......zeno......gias......"

CidHighwind-FFVIIArt.png Quote: Cid, after returning from the launch of the Shinra No. 26
"I always thought this planet was so huge. But lookin' at it from space, I realized it's so small. We're just
floatin' in the dark. ......kind of makes you feel powerless. On top of that, it's got Sephiroth festerin' inside
it like a sickness. That's why I say this planet's still a kid. A little kid sick and trembling in the middle of
this huge universe. Someone's gotta protect it. Ya follow me? That someone is us"

Vincent Portrait.jpg Quote: Vincent, on the subject of Professor Hojo
"Hojo...what a queer fellow. Such utter lack of scientific talent... compared with the genius of Dr. Gast......
Lucrecia chose him trying to protect him... Now I understand... I understand... but..."

Cloud Portrait.jpg Quote: Cloud, just before descending to the Planet's core
"All right, everyone, let's mosey"
Cid Portrait.jpg Quote: Cid, in response to the above
"Damn! Again! Stop sayin' it like a wimp! Can't you say 'Move out!' or somethin'?"

Mind Games[]

Here is a perfect example of Sephiroth at his peak, demonstrating his ability to massively screw with Cloud's head. This scene takes place in the illusory copy of Nibelheim created by Sephiroth in the North Crater. The italic text indicates Cloud's replies.

You are just a puppet...
You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain... How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being?
What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion.
...Do you understand?

I don't want to understand. But, I want to ask you one thing. Why...why are you doing this?

Ha, ha, ha...
I want to take you back to your real self. The one who gave me the Black Materia that day...
Who would have ever thought a failed experiment would prove so useful? Hojo would die if he knew.

Hojo!? What does he have to do with me!?

Five years ago you were...
...constructed by Hojo, piece by piece, right after Nibelheim was burnt.
A puppet made up of vibrant Jenova Cells, her knowledge, and the power of the Mako.

An incomplete Sephiroth-clone.
Not even given a number.
...That is your reality.
Sephiroth Portrait.jpg
Cloud Portrait.jpg


This is a transcript of the conversation that occurs when the party confronts Hojo atop the Sister Ray, with Vincent in the party.

Cloud Portrait.jpg
Hojo! Stop right there!!
Oh... the failure.
Cloud Portrait.jpg
At least remember my name! It's Cloud!
Every time I see you, I... It pains me that I had so little scientific sense... I evaluated you as a failed project.
But, you are the only one that succeeded as a Sephiroth-clone.
Heh, heh, heh...... I'm even beginning to hate myself.
Cloud Portrait.jpg
None of that matters... just stop this nonsense!
...nonsense? Oh, this? Ha, ha, ha... Sephiroth seems to be counting on the energy. So I'm going to lend him a hand.
Cloud Portrait.jpg
Why!? Why do that!?
Quit asking me why, you moron. Hmm... actually, you might be cut out to be a scientist.
Energy level is at......83%. It's taking too long.

My son is in need of power and help. ...That's the only reason.

Cloud Portrait.jpg
...your son?
Ha, ha, ha... Although he doesn't know. Ha, ha, ha... HA, HA, HA...!!
What will Sephiroth think when he finds out I'm his father? Always looking down on me like that. HA, HA, HA...!!
Cloud Portrait.jpg
Sephiroth is your son!?
Vincent Portrait.jpg
Ha, ha, ha... I offered the woman with my child to Professor Gast's Jenova Project.
When Sephiroth was still in the womb, we took the cells of Jenova... HA, HA, HA!!
Vincent Portrait.jpg
Cloud Portrait.jpg
I can't believe you're the one who did this... The illusionary crime against Sephiroth...
Heee, hee, hee, hee! No you're wrong! It's my desire as a scientist! Heee, hee, hee, hee!
Vincent Portrait.jpg
......I was......wrong. The one that should have slept was...
...You, Hojo!
I...was defeated by my desire to become a scientist. I lost the last time as well.
I've injected Jenova's cells into my own body! Heee, hee, hee! Here are......
Heee, hee, hee! results!!

VII Books[]

VII Books

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Nothing added here yet

Final Fantasy VIII[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Ff8-seifer2.jpg Quote: Seifer, when Quistis wishing him luck on the SeeD exam
"Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student that needs them, eh?"
CharVIII Quistis.jpg Quote: Quistis, in response
"Ok then. Good luck, Seifer."
Ff8-seifer2.jpg Quote: Seifer's reaction
"Add Instructor Trepe to the list."

Ff8-seifer2.jpg Quote: Seifer, while torturing Squall
"This is the scene where you swear your undying hatred for me! The tale of the evil
mercenary vs the sorceress' knight... The fun's just started, Squall. Don't disappoint me now!"

CharVIII Quistis.jpg Quote: Quistis, when the Ragnarok takes to the air
"Ahh... Excuse me, we're flying?"
Ff8-zell2.jpg Quote: Zell, articulating his dread
"I hope this ain't the case but, I can picture Selphie in the pilot seat, and..."
CharVIII Quistis.jpg Quote: Quistis, resigned to the inevitable
"...Selphie screaming, 'Whoo-hoo, we're flying!'"
Ff8-squall2.jpg Quote: Squall(?), mentally completing the picture
(And standing next to her, a very excited Irvine...)
The party rides up to the cockpit...
CharVIII Selphie.jpg Quote: Selphie, in the pilot seat
"Whoo-hoo, we're flying!"
CharVIII Irvine.jpg Quote: Standing next to her, a very excited Irvine
"Selphie's just amazing!"

Time compression[]

Imagine, if you will, the following scenario: a talented and admirable person with a tumor. Now picture this tumor as being about twenty times the size of the person. Time compression as a plot device is somewhat like the person: it shows promise, but is unfortunately attached to a disproportionately large cancerous lump in the form of the rest of FFVIII's massively contrived plot.

Ultimecia's Vokal Kuriosity[]

FF8 Ultimecia.png Quote: Ultimecia, to the player party
"Kurse all SeeDs. Swarming like lokusts akross generations. You disgust me"
The size of her in the picture is a scale representation of how much I think she's a good villain. In other words, she sucks

Were it not for the fakt that speech is shown on-skreen as text, Ultimecia's kurious habit of replacing her spoken 'c's with 'k's would be kompletely undetektable, as the vokal sound would be exaktly the same as it would without the affektation. This is in kontrast with Doktor Odine, whose speech is aktually pronounced differently to how it would be without his token akcent. One kould make a kase for the substitution being a matter of the emphasis (bekause 'k' is a slightly harder sound than 'c'), but the point is that this still doesn't really konstitute any fundamental alteration of the basik pronunciation.

Final Fantasy IX[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Baku-ffix-battle.png Quote: Baku, when Zidane gives the wrong response to his question
"You bet! You're gonna kidnap the fat-ass, butt-ugly Queen Br— What...what'm I sayin'!?"

FFIX-Moogle Concept.jpg Quote: Mois, a foul-mouthed Moogle in the Ice Cavern, when melted out of his icy prison
"Hot! Hot! Hot! You bastards!!! Oh, I can move again! Thanks, kupo!"

Zidane menu.jpg Quote: Zidane, to Steiner on the subject of Beatrix
"Quite a woman, you fell in love with!"
Steiner menu.jpg Quote: Steiner's retort
"You're one to talk!"
Dagger menu.jpg Quote: Garnet's reaction to his retort
"Wait a minute Steiner! What did you mean by that!?"

The birthplace of all things[]

This is a transcript of the conversation that takes place between Zidane and Kuja when the party confronts him at the heart of the Crystal World. Italic text is Zidane, plain text is Kuja.


Nice of you to come. I'm surprised you beat the 4 Chaoses that I created from the crystal's memory.'re too late. Take a good look. Isn't it beautiful? It's the original crystal...

This is where it all began...
The birthplace of all things...
Once I destroy it, everything will be gone. Gaia, Terra, the universe, everything...
Your lives and memories too, of course. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Shut up!!! The only thing that's gonna be gone is you! I'll take you out right now!

Hmph. You honestly think you can beat me? Even if you do, Gaia's already doomed. It's assimilation by Terra has begun, and the Iifa Tree will incite a cataclysmic destruction of Gaia. It's all over for you and your friends.

See. I win, either way.

It doesn't matter! Even if Gaia is assimilated, the planet will remain, and we'll start over to make a new home. Kuja, you're nothing but a coward! If you're gonna die, leave us out of it!

Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair. If I die, we all die!

Zidane, you will be my first sacrifice.
Dissidia Kuja.png
Dissidia Zidane.png

Final Fantasy X[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Auron Menu.jpg Quote: Auron, before the fight against Sinspawn Gui
"Some can't wait to die!"

Yuna - Portrait.png Quote: One of Yuna's possible battle quotes (in imitation of Wakka's accent) and Lulu's reaction
"A lotta fiends here, ya?"
"Don't talk like that"

Auron Menu.jpg Quote: Auron, if the player lets Rikku keep pleading to stay at the Thunder Plains agency
"Fine, we rest. She's worse than the storm"

Kimahri Menu.jpg Quote: Kimahri, on the subject of Yuna's first Moonflow crossing
"Shoopuf shook, Yuna fall in water. Shoopuf scoop up Yuna with long nose. Yuna jump in three more times for fun"
"Kimahri worried"
Yuna - Portrait.png Quote: Yuna, after the above
Kimahri Menu.jpg Quote: Kimahri again
"Yuna had fun. Kimahri happy"

Aurochs nobg.png Quote: Luca's Blitz commentator on the subject of the Besaid Aurochs
"They're a living, breathing, statistical impossibility! I've never seen a team this bad!"

Giving the finger to the naysayers[]

This is a transcript of the conversation that takes place when Braska 'recruits' Jecht.

Braskascan1.jpg Braska: No one truly believes that I, a fallen summoner wed to an Al Bhed... could possibly defeat Sin. This is what they say. No one expects us to succeed.
Auron: Braska, sir...
Braska: Let's show them that they're wrong. A fallen summoner, a man from Zanarkand... and a warrior monk, doomed to obscurity for refusing the hand of the priest's daughter. What delightful irony it would be if we defeated Sin!

Unwelcome to Bevelle[]

This is a transcript of the conversation that takes place when Evrae approaches the Fahrenheit.

Evrae.jpg Auron: Huh, now there's a rare sight.
Tidus: Whoa, that's huge!
Rikku: What is that?
Lulu: The guardian wyrm, Evrae. The great sacred beast – protector of Bevelle!
Auron: *laughs* The red carpet has teeth.

Final Fantasy X-2[]

Selection of Quotes[]

FFX-2 HD Rikku Render.png Quote: One of Rikku's battle quotes and Paine's immediate response
"Doctor P. is in the house!"
"Stop that"

Final Fantasy XI[]

Selection of Quotes[]

0px Quote: Sorceror Nobody, on the subject of FFXI
"What the F*CK!?"

Seriously, why the hell did they stick an online game in the main series? No matter what anyone says, even Square-Enix themselves, this thing IS NOT A MAIN SERIES GAME. The only reason that I don't believe it should be stripped of its number and simply be called "Final Fantasy Online" is because it's too late now, what with FFXII and FFXIII being numbered as they are.

Also, why is there a userbox for "This user has completed FFXI"? It's impossible to complete it because

  1. it's a bloody MUMORPUGER
  2. it keeps getting expansions

Final Fantasy XII[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Nothing added here yet

Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Nothing added here yet

Final Fantasy XIII[]

Selection of Quotes[]

I think it's quite revealing that all of the character quotes here are Sazh :P

Final Fantasy XIII Logo.jpg Quote: The first Datalog entry for the Chocobo chick
The chick has no name, as voicing the true identity of the animal might trigger ripples of destiny
across Cocoon and cause a hurricane in Eden. Either that, or Sazh just hasn't thought of one yet

Sazhface.jpg Quote: Sazh, as a magnetic rig drags a large piece of debris towards him
"Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! ...I knew that would happen"

Sazhface.jpg Quote: Sazh, describing the Sunleth Waterscape, Captain Obvious style
"All this dampness is damp"
Sazhface.jpg Quote: Sazh, further describing the Sunleth Waterscape
"Well, I guess this is better than homicidal scorpion robots and mountains of trash"

Sazhface.jpg Quote: Sazh, confronting Vanille after Dajh enters crystal stasis
"You think you die and that's that? You think you die and it's all sugar and rainbows?"
Sazhface.jpg Quote: Sazh, pointing his gun at his head after defeating Brynhildr
"Enough... is enough"

Orphan's Cradle[]

How awesome is this? A separate dimension, created by physically manifesting the data streams that run through the fal'Cie Eden. Nice one, even if I do suspect the blocks flying past into a crackling vortex are just to show off the graphics :P

One thing does bother me though... Cocoon is pretty much unreturnable territory, which is very different from earlier FFs (where almost all areas can be revisited). It's a shame, because let's think about this... Cocoon is an artificial construction entirely controlled by Eden's data processing. These data streams manifest physically to form what is known as Orphan's Cradle. Could the various parts of Cocoon not, therefore, be virtually constructed within Orphan's Cradle? Surely much of the data would theoretically exist within Eden's "hard drive", as it were. This would allow players to revisit all previous areas (or technically virtual recreations of them) via Orphan's Cradle.

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Nothing added here yet

Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift[]

Selection of Quotes[]

TA2-notVaan-spr.png Quote: "Vaan?", in response to Luso not falling for the impersonation
"No! The question is: who art you, ham-planks!? Shanks! I meant shanks!"

TA2-Illua-spr.png Quote: Illua, to Luso, Cid and Adelle
"I -am- the hero of this tale, after all. A story needs only one. You... you are
merely the chorus. Do not deceive yourselves into believing you are anything more"

TA2-Al-Cid-sprh.png Quote: Al-Cid, after using an Opportunity Command
"The goddess of victory is cold and distant. Perhaps this will kindle in her some warmth"


Since the days of FFXII, Vaan seems to be somewhat less annoying. Maybe it's the shirt's magickal influence... TA2 is the first time he's worn one under his usual jacket (thus hiding his really-bad-graphics chest and abdomen muscles *shudder*).

On the other hand, I get the feeling that he's trying to imitate Balthier's wittiness and failing miserably. Here're some of his "gems":

TA2-Vaan-spr.png Quote: Vaan, to Luso (during the quest "Grounded!")
"Still playing dumb? Careful, you may get stuck that way"
TA2-Vaan-spr.png Quote: Vaan, when Luso tells the impostors to "wait"
"Ah, "wait." As if that's ever stopped a fleeing pirate"

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Ffccrof artwork youngyuri.jpg Quote: Yuri, during his first visit to Rebena Te Ra as a child
"Yay! We're practically adulterous!"

Ffccrof artem.gif Quote: Artemecion, before Yuri and Chelinka go to Old Town
"Nooo! I set the counter too high! Hm!? I know you're there... I sense your presence... I smell your money!"

Meeth icon.gif Quote: Meeth, if the player talks to the temple guards after returning from Rela Cyel
"...Alchemy, synthesis, bodies, experiments, monsters, souls, ghosts, curses, suffering..."

Ffccrof artem.gif Quote: Artemecion, when spoken to in the Shadowland
"Shortly after my arrival, I had an epiphany. Of all things under the sun, love is my...raison d'etre"
Al icon.gif Quote: Alhanalem's response to the above
"Quite the revelation spiritual... Clearly you have undergone a kind of inner renewal. I am touched--"
Ffccrof artem.gif Quote: Artemecion's interruption, cutting Al short
"Not surprisingly, my favorite expression of love is money"
Ffccrof artem.gif Quote: Artemecion, after closing the Mog Mart menu
"I am very, very fond of love"
Al icon.gif Quote: Al's reply
"Not my idea of love's essential"

RebenaTeRa FFCCrof.jpg Quote: A guard in Rebena Te Ra on multiplayer mode
"Come to think of it, I did hear that the number of monsters is dropping. Who knows?
There could be some nutcase adventurer wiping them out just for kicks and giggles"


Yuri icon.gif Quote: Yuri, to Galdes
"All your fates are linked to here. Your future is... to repeat the past, over and again!"

Being locked into a permanent time loop, yet consciously aware of both the entrapment and the fact that one is powerless to cease repetition of the looping series of actions? Sweet. Galdes's fate is definitely one of my favourite antagonist comeuppances!


The explanation of how magic works in this game is probably my favourite. It uses a form of the Many-Worlds hypothesis, as well as presumably quantum mechanics. Towards the end of the game's storyline, the nature of magic is explained:

Kolka.jpg Quote: King Kolka, explaining the nature of magic
"Magic is choosing from infinite futures a world in which the desired end has become reality"

For example, if you want to cast Blizzard on an enemy, you select a nearby world where the target is encased in a pillar of ice. This is where I reckon the quantum comes in, as a large (and extremely low-probability) quantum fluctuation is the only way most of the desired outcomes will ever realistically occur (except maybe spontaneous combustion for Fire spells).

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within[]

Selection of Quotes[]

Pretty much anything that General Hein says. He's voiced by freakin' James Woods, which makes him instantly cool. Even if the character is a jerk...

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