Name Joseph
Job Class Black Mage
Hometown Mt. Juliet, TN
Date of Birth June 7, 1988
Age 19
Height 5' 10"
Weight 115.8 lbs
TES Race Breton
Job Game Design Student
Trance Ability Double Black

Alcaeus the Wizard[edit | edit source]

This is my first page I've created, so please bear with me if it's not that great. As my username suggests, I really like wizards. My favorite FF JobClass is the Black Mage, and Vivi is my favorite FF character of all time. FFIX is also my favorite game in the series. I am 19, gay, and proud of it, though I refuse to come out to my friends and family. My idols are Oscar Wilde, Greta Garbo, and Freddie Mercury. I also have a Deviantart page. Be aware that a lot of my stuff is fairly old or not that great. I still need to put some stuff in my scraps...

Note[edit | edit source]

I won't be at my house for the rest of the week. It's my last week of Summer Break and I want to have some fun. My birthday is the 7th and I will be 20, ugh...So wish me a happy birthday, tell me to go fuck myself, or something similar.

FF Hunks[edit | edit source]

I thought I should do something on this page, so I decided to do some lame-ass thing on my favorite FF hunks since I have nothing better to do. I am also not putting any of those girly men that populate the FF universe. Kuja! *shudders*

1). Sabin - He's very muscular. What more can a guy want? He may not be the smartest person in a FF, but I've always found that to be kinda cute. The only problem with him is he's blonde. If only I could find a guy like him in the real world, and have violent butt-sex with him. Have I scared you yet? :)

2). Minwu - He's Arabian, or would the politically correct term be Middle-Eastern. Anyway he still looks masculine with eyeliner. Plus he's a White Mage that doesn't suck, or maybe he does. ;)

3). Knight(Final Fantasy I NES) - Okay, so he's only an 8-Bit sprite, but he's a red-head and he's strong, in fact there are a lot of red-heads in this game. What happened? All the new FFs have crappy blonde-haired twinks. Vaan! *shudders again*

4). Leon - So he doesn't have much of a personality, but what do you expect? Final Fantasy II was made in 1988, if I remember correctly. Hell, he's tall, dark and handsome. That's all that matters, after being well-hung that is. BTW, if you haven't noticed yet, I'm a pervert.

5). Basch - Another blonde...but at least he's not a twink. His voice is also kinda sexy. Plus he "knows something of cages." If that's not suggesting an interest in S&M, I don't know what is.

6). Balthier - Finally, a brunette in this Aryan race-filled-world of FFs! Anyway, Balthier's a charmer, and I've been charmed! ;)

7). Amarant - This is wierd, a FF character with red hair that isn't in the first three games in the series. What is with all these blondes in the new games!? Anyway, he's tall and has big hands ;). From what I remember, I think he has a tattoo, which is always hot. I just wish I was able to see his face better. In all honest, he was my least used FF9 character.

Polls[edit | edit source]

Reviews[edit | edit source]

I now have a page for my reviews! I'm still working on it, though. It's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring, though so I'm going to do the reviews sometime in the far future...

Walkthroughs[edit | edit source]

Videos to destroy your mind[edit | edit source]

Yay, I finally get to play this game again! Here's a video of a level that I played. I almost died. :)

Poor Jadier. That monster, the Lich, is the second strongest enemy in the game. And my character is at a low level in the video. Heh.

Little Rant of the Week[edit | edit source]

To view my earlier rants, go here.

I'm through with rants. I need to stop being so angry all the time. Yeah right!

Where Are They Today?[edit | edit source]

After losing to Zidane & co., Kuja was a wreck. Because he tried to destroy the world, he was now an outcast. In order to restore his tarnished image, he decided to do the only thing he was good at...singing. Years after his attempt at destroying the world, he decided to dye his hair brown, and released a single that would make him an instant star, "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me."


This single was especially popular among other failed villians and one year later, Kuja helped Vayne Solidor with his single, "You Spin Me Round(Like a Record)."

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The video had mixed reactions. Some people (mainly women and the gay community) liked the video, while most straight men were scared of Vayne's odd new look. Nevertheless, the video was an instant hit and soon the villians were gaining popularity for reasons other than being evil and complete losers.

The most recent single by an ex-villian was Edea Kramer's extremely popular "Vogue." In the music video, Edea bleached her hair blonde to make herself look somewhat like Marilyn Monroe, except Edea is clearly not fat or slutty.

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What other villians will capitalize on this new fad? Maybe Garland/Chaos, or ExDeath. Maybe even Kefka. Only time will tell.

My whole reasoning behind this(other than being terribly bored) was that I was watching the Do You Really Want To Hurt Me video and I found it funny how every "normal" person in the video freaked out whenever Boy George was near them, and it reminded me of all the times people just freaked out whenever they saw a picture of Kuja and his man-thong. That's when I thought Boy George=Kuja??? Unfortunately, I don't have the resources to make a joke animation that has Kuja singing to the Boy George song. That's why I used the original music video and decided to have Kuja "dye his hair brown."

But I needed two more videos. That's when I watched "You Spin Me etc..." The lead singer wasn't pretty enough to be Kuja, but his hairstyle reminded me of Vanye's hair...Since I hate villians, it was easy to make fun of Vayne without worrying about insulting his fans. I had two videos, but I felt like I needed one more. I almost thought about Vaan singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," but he's not a villian, so I decided to use Edea and Madonna's music video for "Vogue," since it just seemed to work with the stylish sorceress.

Personal Info[edit | edit source]

Userb male.gif This user is a male.
User gemini.jpg This user is a Geminian.
Gayflag.pngThis user identifies as gay or lesbian.
Userb firecrystal.gif This user is of the Fire element.
BlackMage-ff1-psp.png This user is a Black Mage.
FFVI Sabin Sprite iOS.png This user believes that you can't wage war on an empty stomach.
FF6 Mog Sprite iOS.png This user is a SLAM-dancing Moogle.
Vivi menu.jpg Does this user exist? Maybe s/he doesn't exist...
BalthierUserbox.png This user plays the Leading Man, who else?
FFTA-ultima.gif This user loves the Nu Mous.
Moogle1138.PNG This user is Kupo for Kupo Nuts!
Blackmage-ff1-nes.png This user syphons love out of the universe.
Q? This user is a loyal disciple of BlueHighwind.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

I have seen a couple of these and I'm bored, so...

  • I share a birthday with Prince and Tom Jones.
  • My favorite color used to be red, then black and now it's violet.
  • My first crush was on Ariel from The Little Mermaid. I was 5, I didn't know any better.
  • My family is mostly Irish (obviously with some Scottish and British), some Native American (Great-Great Grandfather was apparently 100% Native American) and a little French in there too.
  • My first Squaresoft game was Chocobo's Dungeon 2.
  • I'm starting to get a Southern accent...
  • I don't have any male friends. Guys are assholes.
  • I have 13 cats.
  • I'm starting to hate cats.
  • I only seem to fall in love with straight guys. It's a terrible curse.
  • If you haven't noticed yet, I get angry VERY easily.
  • Despite what some of my comments suggest, I'm agnostic not an atheist. There's a BIG difference between "not believing in God" and "not believing God exists."
  • I have been kissed by two girls at once.

Completed Games[edit | edit source]

This user has completed Final Fantasy.
This user has completed Final Fantasy II.
This user has completed Final Fantasy III.
This user has completed Final Fantasy IV.
This user has completed Final Fantasy V.
This user has completed Final Fantasy VI.
This user has completed Final Fantasy VII.
This user has completed Final Fantasy VIII.
This user has completed Final Fantasy IX.
This user has completed Final Fantasy X.
This user has completed Final Fantasy X-2.
This user has completed Final Fantasy XII.
This user has completed Final Fantasy Tactics.
This user has completed Final Fantasy Tactics Advance.

Fandom[edit | edit source]

This user is a fan of Final Fantasy.
This user is a fan of Final Fantasy III.
This user is a fan of Final Fantasy IV.
This user has completed Final Fantasy V.
This user has completed Final Fantasy VI.
This user is a fan of Final Fantasy IX.
This user is a fan of Final Fantasy XII.
This user is a fan of Final Fantasy Tactics.
Pro Amano.JPG This user thinks that Amano's art is better than the others.

FFs I Hate[edit | edit source]

This user Hated Final Fantasy VII.
This user Hated Final Fantasy VIII.
This user Hated Final Fantasy X.
This user Hated Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

Other Games[edit | edit source]

Text Bubble[edit | edit source]

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