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Cloud Strife: No way! That thing's just a machine.
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Halldor believes you are ready to take an important step.

Quest description

Too Many Nutters Too Many Nutters is a Quest in Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn.

Journal[]

Objectives[]

  • Speak with Xylle.

Script[]

Too Many Nutters Too Many Nutters script
Halldor There s/he is! The star hunter of Clan Nutsy herself/himself! Bagged yourself a goodly number of three-nut marks, have we?
Halldor But it's not enough, is it? Don't deny it. Nay, you need to experience it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! And they need it too, if not more─why else would those Eulmoran bastards offer bigger and bigger bounties?
Halldor They're waiting for you to slip up, just once. To give them a spectacular death. But you won't go quietly, oh no─you'll bleed them for every last gil and then some!
Halldor And soon you'll have the chance to do so on an entirely different scale. How, you ask? By slaying elite marks, that's how!
Halldor They're like nothing you've ever faced before. Wild and unpredictable, possessed of surpassing strength and guile. Many are the men who have left to slay such fiends, never to return.
Halldor But their failures will only serve to season the dish that is your victory! The greater the risk, the greater the reward─extrinsic and intrinsic, no? Which is why you must speak with Xylle without further delay!
Xylle Oh, it's you. Come to beg permission to hunt elite marks?
Xylle That I cannot grant. Just the other day our very own leader fell in battle with such a beast. Torn to shreds and devoured─nary a trace remained to be buried.
Xylle I cannot in good conscience allow one of our most promising hunters to throw their life away as he did. For now, I must insist that you content yourself with the three-nut marks...
Nuts Now wait just a gosh-darned minute!
Xylle Wicked white! But you're─
Nuts Nutsy, your fearless leader! Still alive and kupoing, I'll have you know!
Xylle But Halldor described in exacting detail how the beast snatched you out of the air─how as you struggled to free yourself in vain you were disemboweled and depommed─
Nuts C-Certainly not! As you can see, I am the picture of perfect health, kupo!
Nuts No thanks to that villain Halldor, though! I'd say he was the aspiring depommer, considering how many times he nearly chopped it off in the midst of our battle with that elite mark.
Xylle I rather think you have only yourself to blame for that. After all, was it not you who encouraged him and the others to strike you down and claim leadership?
Nuts Aye, aye, for the thrill of it! Which he gave me and then some─even if only by his poor attempts at treachery. That weakling wouldn't last a moment against me in a stand-up fight!
Xylle As you may have gathered, it takes a certain...character to rise within the highest echelons of the clan.
Nuts You've got to eat, sleep, and breathe danger! You've got to love putting it all on the line against elite marks and elite hunters besides! You've got to be bloody mad! So congratulations, [Player Name]: you're in!
Xylle Are you sure this is wise?
Nuts Wise, shmise! She/He's a killer─I want to see her/him kill! I wanna see her/him die! Mwahahaha! More blood for Clan Nutsy! More blood, kupo!
Xylle It's that ridiculous philosophy that's losing us hunters by the boatload! How are we supposed to build a sustainable organization when you keep encouraging people to kill themselves in the most violent and pointless ways possible!?
Nuts I─ Er. Well, you see... The thing is...
Nuts Ahem! I just wanted to say that you may be the most promising new hunter I've seen in ages! Brilliant work out there, really marvelous. Jolly good! And on that note... Good-bye!
Xylle One day I'm going to rip that pom off your head and shove it down your godsdamned throat, you furry little shite...
Xylle Anyway, you may now hunt elite marks. Do try not to die. And, if you happen to run into our fearless leader in the field, kill him.
Halldor Heh heh heh! Don't let me keep you, killer! There's a whole wide world of elite marks waiting for you to kill them! Hop to!
Quest complete.