*DISCLAIMER: If you are an active member of this Wiki you are likely to be included in this story.
-Before Kitty Crisis-
Kitty displaying 2 of many weapons available for killing
It was a regular week day in the FFWiki IRC. Shiggen, Jimcloud and their Non-existent Master Sorceror Nobody were sitting around in the middle of the room on bean-bags killing one another with an array of various weapons via the rooms 24/7 tenant MasterTonberry, known to most affectionately as "Kitty." As per usual, Kitty's Master Adola was asleep in the corner of the room in his usual Hammock. DrakeyC was off in a corner working hard as per usual on the FFWiki, but would occasionally throw a comment in, provided the conversation at hand was concerning something worthwhile. Before long BlueHighwind appeared and began exploding the subject of every conversation with his infamous switch, despite the attempts of all others to hide, steal or destroy the switch. Elsewhere in the room KujaRhapsodos was parading yet another new outfit, Griffen78 was trying to inconspicuously hit on Jimcloud, then before long he got bored of that and gave up on the "Inconspicuously" part. SilverCrono was on the phone looking out of the window (although it has been rumored that we was merely pretending to be on the phone, in an attempt to convince the others that he has a life). However before long he hung-up and returned to the conversation, at which point he was thrown into a Saucy Phone-Call by Shiggen, much to the amusement of everyone present. Soon enough Jimcloud's younger Brother, Fighter Jecht appeared and was subequently killed with a stray harpoon. Meanwhile ChanServ sat silently in the corner glaring disapprovingly at anyone and everyone
All seemed to be going perfectly as normal, until suddenly, without warning, Kitty stood up, brushed himself off, and left without a word. MasterTonberry, the FFWiki's IRC Bot that never left, was GONE! That was the last time anyone saw Kitty alive. From his Hammock Adola had opened an eye and watched Kitty Leave and shortly thereafter followed after her. Everyone was shocked. Some remained silent, while other's voiced their concerns loudly. Pretty soon people started to look to ChanServ for some Answers. Having none, she too left the room to get to the bottom of the mystery. . .
Chapter 1
Bluesey in Crystal Stasis, before He disappeared
Two Months Later. . .
Something was very very wrong. Adola and Kitty were still missing and as usual, ChanServ was not saying a word. Sorceror Nobody was busy with "A Contest of Peons" but there was still an air that something was missing, and often times if felt like more than one something was missing. Admittedly, Magicite Madness II was over (With previous champion Vivi and The Challenger Terra sharing the spoiles in a 48-50 draw), Biggs & Wedge had been kidnapped, on top of Kitty and Adola both missing. Things certainly did not look good. One Monday, while preparing the coming weeks brackets, Sorceror Nobody noticed something bizarre, Bluestarultor was now missing too! Bluesey, as people called him had just finished his Focus as a Sorceror L'cie and had entered Crystal Stasis, but now he was gone! How did a Crystal Statue just Get up and move?!?
Meanwhile, having finally achieved his goal of losing out in "A contest of Peons," Shiggen was lazing around in his Eidolon; Remora's Bathtub, Gestalt form. And Having equipped it with four robotic feet was marching around entirely at leisure. Deciding that he should probably feed his new pet, Cerberus (Who had been left to him in the will of Biggs Palazzo) he sent his bathtub over to his giant deep freezer, where he kept his supply of extremely large Dragon Steaks, that he had inherited along with the dog. Reaching inside he grabbed one of the great slabs of meat and pulled it out. However when he looked at it, there was a note taped to the wrapper.
| Dear Mango I'm leaving you this note because for some reason sticking a note in your deep freezer full of Dragon Meant seemed like the smartest Idea at the time. A lot of people are going to have a lot of questions by the time you are reading this. People already want to know where MasterTonberry and Adola are. Now people are going to want to know why I'm not stuck in Crystal Stasis and where I am. I believe that Kitty and Adola disappearing was no accident and that some really bad things are going to happen. That is why I have been freed from my crystal stasis, or at least freed enough that I can move around and go and do something about it. I can't tell you all of my suspicions at this time because a) I might be wrong, or b) I might be right and this letter could fall into the wrong hands. But the Important thing is that you, and anyone else who will need to find MasterTonberry and keep him safe, he is in great Danger! Help me R8.50 Mango, you're my only hope! |
"I AM SURPIRSED" said Mango.
Chapter 2
Faethin, discussing a plan of action
TacticAngel, discussing the futility of any such plan
After getting over his initial Surpirise, Mango quickly raced to show the letter to the first people he ran into, which were, of course, his fellow members of the infamous unofficial Trio of the IRC, Jimcloud and SilverCrono. So without any further ado, Crono and Jimmy poured over the letter. With gasps of amazement, shock and horror (all of which were somehow expertly dodged and/or evaded by Jimcloud). Before long, several others began to show an interest in the words that Bluesey had left for Mango. Eventually S_Nobody|TV, curious about all the fuss looked up and quickly became Sorceror_Nobody again. Soon thereafter the IRC was bustling with a Plethora of emotions. Perhaps too many, as Griffen tried to take advantage of the situation and put "the moves" on Jimcloud once again. He subsequently found himself Karate Chopped in the windpipe. Eventually a general consensus was reached that something needed to be done. The bickering then resumed as the topic of exactly what should be done was discussed. The conversation reached its peak when, having somehow heard (sensed?) what he deemed unnecessary ruckus, TacticAngel graced the IRC. Then With the combined Sysop Powers of himself, Faethin, Yuanchosaan and even 8bit BlackMage (who had recently returned from an extended absence), the IRC was forced back into a degree of order and Decorum. Being one of the most often present of the Sysops, Faethin began to collect Ideas and build a plan for what should be done concerning the both the Disappearance of Bluesey, and his cryptic letter that had been left for Mango. He was immediately cut short by TacticAngel, who in the round-about way he has with words, suggested that any effort to find the missing MasterTonberry would be futile and that any effort to locate Bluestarultor would be pointless. However, Both 8-bit, and Yuan sided with Faethin in the Idea that Something could, and should be done about both issues. TacticAngel began to explain that as he is a former Bueraucrat, his vote counts as 7. However once his insane troll logic was rejected, he shrugged his shoulders and went back to the things that TacticAngels do with their time, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Gone talking to a wall." After the dust had settled, several of the Moderators remembered that they had a little more weight to throw around than the average Joe as well, began to chime into the discussion, One of whom; ScatheMote had just arrived with his customary "-lo." BlueHighwind was poised, ready and just about to flip his switch and explode the "-lo" when he was slapped by Drake Clawfang. Hexedmagica and Henryacrores began proposing multiple solutions, each more complex and contrived than the last. Pretty soon Drake had jumped in and was telling them why each one of their plans would crash and burn. Meanwhile, Jeppo whispered something to 8-bit, who raised his eyebrows, claiming that "that might just work." By now the IRC regulars had joined in the argument, that Faethin and Yuan were now attempting the calm down once again. Once the arguing, killing, throwing and exploding had slowed to a manageable pace, 8-bit spoke up with Jeppo's Idea; "Why don't we just split into groups and go look for them?"
A stunned silence swept across the IRC, it was manifested by a giant tumbleweed that managed to make its way through the room without a single acknowledgment from anyone. After at least an entire minute of silence, Jimcloud spoke up just to clarify that 8-bit wanted them all to head out in different directions and look for Bluesey and Kitty. This time Jeppo stepped forward (8-bit was busy dancing a celebratory dance, in honor of the unprecedented silence he had caused) to explain that there was not a single group of individuals more qualified to tackle such a task. After all, between everybody in the room, (and some predecessors), they had compiled an entire Encyclopedia about such quests. In reality it should be a breeze, right?
Chapter 3
http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j340/BiggsAndWedge/GrifODK.png ODK and Grif with Itchy Pokeball Fingers.
Sooner or Later everyone found their tongues and began Arguing over the best possible places to look for Kitty, Bluesey or clues as to the whereabouts of either. MirrorshardSceada was convinced that the best place to look would be the Centra Ruins, in the World of Final Fantasy VIII. The Ruins had become somewhat of a Tonberry headquarters over the generations, with even The Tonberry King taking up a permanent residence there. MSS was convinced that talking with the King of Kitty's race would be the best place to start and resolved to Journey their with his own Eidolon and Tonberry companion. On the other hand, OavatosDK swore blind that he heard Kitty mourning the fact that yet another Generation of Pokemon had arrived and Tonberrys had yet to make it into the Pokedex. ODK drew the conclusion from that, that Kitty had Definitely fled to the World of Pokemon. This theory was greatly endorsed by Griff, and the two of them resolved to head off to the World of Pokemon as soon as possible. Sorceror Nobody on the otherhand, was still baffled that Bluesey had been able to break out of Crystal Stasis. Consequently he decided to Journey to the world of Final Fantasy XIII to curse a fal'cie as a Sorceror L'cie do some recon. Next to Submit an Idea was KujaRhapsodos, who was dead certain that Don Tonberry, of Spira's Monster Arena was none other than Kitty's Uncle, and resolved to Journey there to question him (Although most believed that he was actually looking for any excuse to go meet a certain someone. The Next one to chime in was Hexed. He seemed to believe that if Kitty was in Danger, then Kitty would be smart enough to hide somewhere that would be too dangerous for any human to come after him. Following that logic, before long he had convinced himself that Kitty was hiding out in the world of Monster Hunter, and, having several spare Veggie Elder Tickets, made preparations to go in search of a Veggie Elder, who he was certain would have seen kitty on his travels. The Last to throw out an Idea was ScatheMote, who quietly suggested that Bluesey was always a big fan of the 8-bit theater, and volunteered to go and talk to Sarda about Bluesey's whereabouts. Suddenly, after all Ideas had been submitted there was a crash of thunder as Diablocon summoned the sysops present for a report. Yuan, Faethin, 8-Bit and TacticAngel excused themselves and left all present to decide who would be embarking on which quest.
Chapter 4
http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j340/BiggsAndWedge/KujaKuja.png EmperorKujaIX keeping an eye on KujaRhapsodos
Deciding who went on which quest was Surprisingly Easy. Sorceror Nobody simply threatened SilverCrono, Jimcloud and Mango with cie'thdom if they did not come to Pulse with him. The only two people who thought that ODK's mission to the world of Pokemon was worthwhile, were ODK and Griffen, so they were the only two who went. EmperorKujaFFIX did not trust his half-brother; KujaRhapsodos to behave himself while in the same world as Lulu, and so decided to accompany him. The Emperor also invited Kayreeed Caliburn and FighterJecht along, forcing the quest into a PG-13 rating. Drake and Henry both liked the sound of going to the Centra Ruins and volunteered to travel with MSS, as did Bond_em7, who had arrived at some point in the midst of the arguing. ScatheMote and Jeppo, both avid 8-bit Theater fans, were joined by BlueHighwind on the mission to go and consult Sarda. Which left Hexed as a lone Monster Hunter, being the only Experienced Hunter remaining (ODK was far too excited at the Idea of going to Pokemon World). However, with the help of Jimcloud, who had recently hosted a match in her battle square between FF's Bahamut and MH's Rathalos, Hexed was able to get in touch with Leon95 and TheBlueDragoon, both of whom were also veteran Monster Hunters. And so with a final glance at one another, everyone bid the other groups farewell, and then departed their separate ways. ChanServ was alone in the IRC. Ensuring that no one was still lurking, she then walked into the very middle of the room and prepared herself to sing and dance like she never had before, in celebration of everyone finally giving her a moments peace. However, the peace was short-lived as Kupohunter barged into the room, causing ChanServ to rush back to her spot and glare furiously at him. Kupo was just about to announce something remotely coherent, when he realized that other than that weird robot in the corner, He was completely alone.
Chapter 5
Kupo, experiencing a small nervous break-down
After a while of assuming that it was more than a coincidence that he was the only person in the IRC, Kupo began trying desperately to get a hold of anyone that would listen, and pretty soon, yet another large and noisy gathering was taking place in the IRC, causing ChanServ to glare most viciously at everyone. However, to his Credit, Kupohunter had gathered quite a crowd, albeit most of them he had dragged out of bed. Among those present were Armageddon11, TheSirLaguna, Xepscern, Deadlyslashsword, Likeacupcake, MasterTheif, Some Color Mage and NeoBahamutZEROX. Kupo was doing a perfectly fine job of panicking up a storm on his own, but when Xepscern and MasterTheif began encouraging him, NeoZEROX reluctantly agreed to go and find Faethin and ask him what was going on. Fearing for his own sanity, Armageddon11 jumped up and joined him, leaving the others to try and calm Kupo down.
As NeoZEROX and Pocky approached the Sysop Headquarters, they heard raised voices, before watching TacticAngel leaving the HQ in a fit of rage and disappearing fairly quickly, as though fleeing the scene. NeoZEROX and Pocky gingerly approached the door and were stunned by what they saw. Faethin was laying on the ground looking dazed. After helping him to his feet they were eager to learn the details of his attack. Faethin confirmed their shocking suspicions. He had been attacked by TacticAngel as he fled the HQ. He regaled them with his story of how TacticAngel, 8-bit, Yuan and himself were on their way to report to Diablocon, when he, suspecting something, sent 8-bit and Yuan on ahead. He then confronted TA with his suspicions of foul-play in the disappearance of MasterTonberry, Adola and Bluestarultor. Apparently the suspicions had been true as TA had taken him by surprise; jumping him and fleeing the Headquarters. Faethin then explained that large groups of FFWikians had embarked on quests, and were now likely headed straight into traps laid by TacticAngel. Knowing that he needed to hurry and report these developments, Faethin asked Pocky and NeoZEROX to take whoever was left and go find and warn the others. The three parted ways as NeoZEROX and Pocky hurried back to the IRC to tell the news.
Chapter 6
Meanwhile. . .
http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j340/BiggsAndWedge/SardaScene1.png BlueHighwind forgetting the "8-bit" theme
Scathe, Jeppo and BlueHighwind made good time on their journey to the Land of 8 bits. However for reasons known best only to himself, BlueHighwind failed to notice that Scathe and Jeppo had changed their clothes before leaving, into something that would help them blend in. Upon arrival They turned and glared at him, questioning as to if he was ever going to change, or if the plan had changed to, "Get chased out of the country for being a heretic." BlueH realized that he had forgotten his 8-bit outfit and was about to spout out an elaborate explanation as to why it was all part of his master plan. However, he was cut short by a high pitched "Hee-Hee!" The three of them watched in silence as Mario sprinted passed them, before diving into a nearby black pipe. He then immediately staggered out covered in some nasty brown pixels, threw up and jumped in a green pipe right next to it. Before anyone had the opportunity to comment on the bizarre turn of events, Link came running onto the scene screaming obscenities about Italian Plumbers and the things he was going to do with a plunger. He skidded to a halt when he saw Jeppo and Scathe (completely ignoring BlueHighwind) and asked if they had seen Mario. Jeppo replied in the affirmative, telling him that Mario had jumped into the pipe. Link took off running towards the pipes. BlueHighwind, unable to control himself and mimicking Jeppo's voice shouted, "The BLACK one!" without even considering, Link changed course and ran full tilt into the black pipe. A muffled "Thumph!" was heard before Link staggered out of the pipe, threw up vigorously right next to the pile left by Mario and then passed out. Scathe rolled his eyes and rolled up his sleeves while Jeppo and BlueHighwind both fell about laughing. He then, on account of refusing to go anywhere near Link while he was covered in those brown pixels, cast a Watera spell on link, Cleaning him off and bringing him once again to consciousness. Link sat up with a jolt, looked at Scathe, Jeppo and this time noticed BlueHighwind. He then Screamed. Really loud. He turned to run, but before he could get anywhere, Scathe pulled out a Stop spell. He then turned to glare at BlueHighwind again, and was met by BlueHighwind seizing his opportunity before anything else weird happened, explaining that it was all part of his master plan.
Chapter 7
Meanwhile. . .
http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j340/BiggsAndWedge/SNSCJCShigPulse.png
"So, remind me again why we came to Gran Pulse," said Mango as he stepped out of the corridor. To which Sorceror Nobody responded with threats regarding questioning his motives. SilverCrono had begun to have look around and was secretly conceiving a plan to tame himself one of the Brontosaurus's that was slowly mooching through the valley below them. However, his planing was cut off when Jimcloud drew everyone's attention to the sky. Everyone recognized the great Orb in the sky that was Cocoon, however, something was wrong; Cocoon was not in the crystalized state that it should have been, but rather it looked just as before, thriving and full of life. After some brief deliberation it was decided that they had somehow entered Gran Pulse midway through the story of Final Fantasy XIII, at which point Shiggen announced his plans to go and tell every single character the rest of the story. After a sudden brief blinding light Sorceror Nobody disappeared and was replaced by none other than Emmet "Doc" Brown and screamed at the top of his lungs:
"NO! Marty, we've already agreed that having information about the future can have disastrous consequences. Even if you're intentions are good, it can backfire drastically!" He then looked around rather bemused and transformed back into Sorceror Nobody with a flash.
"Well that was . . . odd" said SilverCrono
"It was wasn't it," responded Sorceror Nobody
"What did you call me?" asked Mango
"I wouldn't worry about it," quipped Jimcloud, "I'm pretty sure your intentions weren't good, so I'd just take it as a "no" if I were you."
After another discussion, It was decided that in order to find out exactly when they were, they would need to take their journey to Cocoon and decide the best way to proceed from there. At which point Mango summoned Remora, who promptly turned into a walking bathtub, into which Mango jumped and then set off, leaving the other three chuckling and/or shaking their heads as they set off behind him.
Comments
Bluesey's gone?! Kayreeed Caliburn 04:52, January 15, 2011 (UTC)
- Biggs&Wedge took a poetic license with their work. Jimcloud
04:18, January 19, 2011 (UTC)
- Jim: Dramatic license. ;) Bluestarultor BSA 06:25, January 19, 2011 (UTC)
And meanwhile, Some Color Mage was staring at everyone else in the IRC, wondering what the hell they're on about... SCM - Talk 00:28, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
Wait wait wait... - This has been going on for almost a Week, and noone took his (or her) time to tell me about this incredibly fun story? How could you! =DD Awesome story so far, I'm looking forward to see what awaits me and "my" party in the Centra Ruins. ^^ MirrorshardSceada 10:57, January 20, 2011 (UTC)