Final Fantasy Wiki
Final Fantasy Wiki
Gilgamesh: Enough expository banter!
This talk page is used for discussing improvements to the page "Requests for Promotion". It is not the place for general discussion or sharing stories about the topic of this article.

Proposition of a new layout: Group archives and judgement under one header, but have it collapsible. So:

Closed nominations[]

The following nominations have been closed. Please do not add to these.

Hexedy, Prettiest Princess of Metal[]

How about that?--Magicite-ffvi-ios.png Technobliterator TC 15:03, December 6, 2014 (UTC)

This obscures the judgements for all in the future to not see. Oppose. (but srsly if it gets too big we can just make an archive page like any other project page) C A T U S E 15:06, December 6, 2014 (UTC)
I second the kitty. Do not obscure these judgemental masterpiece lest you be required to write another poem. 21:36, December 6, 2014 (UTC)


Closed nominations[]

The following nominations have been closed. Please do not add to these.

Hexedy, Prettiest Princess of Metal[]


Once, in a faraway place, in a faraway time, all the knights were preparing for the great jousting festival. This was a tournament that drew hundreds of competitors from all throughout the land. A sport of guts and of blood thereof, a true test of glory. And so, hundreds became tens, and tens became two. The two who won were called in front of the king in the main square for the final showdown.

Almost immediately after they were called, the one named Sir Arcite arrived, the great and noble knight. He was clad in full armor from head to toe, and he gleamed in the setting sun. His horse was massive, its mane a veritable forest, its dim bitter eyes the recipient of hundreds of dead. "Greetings, fair knight," bellows the king. "Thou hast done well so far! Thou hast served thy kingdom with all these deeds."

Arcite replied softly. "Opponent?" His voice could curdle milk and pickle old women, and often his enemies would die after two words; today, luckily, as only one word was spoken, it only greyed the tips of the king's mustache and jiggled his bloated belly.

"I am unsure where thy foe might be," replied the king meekly as the few remaining hairs fell off his head. "But certainly he shall be hence soon." He stares nervously at the knight, an act that would make the king nearsighted for the rest of his life. The foe does not arrive. The king turns to one of his peons. "Silly and ignoble peon whose feet certainly smell, where exactly is this doomed opponent?"

The peon attempted to stutter out an answer. "W-w-w-w-e-l-l-…" The king was having none of this. After a quick public execution, the next peon stepped up to the feet of the king. This one, having a firmer grasp of his tongue, replied, "Well, my king and lordship, I hear that that a strange knight named Hexedy is the opponent."

"Oh?" The king raised an eyebrow so high and so dramatically that many onlookers, much later in life, would swear that it had extended to the reaches of heaven itself, "But where is this Hexedy?"

It was then a fairly hairy man with a small flower in his hair leisurely strolled into the chamber. "Ah," said the king, retracting his eyebrow from the stratosphere, "He is here. Let the match begin, we have waited long enough. It does not matter that this man has no lance nor horse; those things would not have helped him reach victory anyway. He is hopeless."

And so they took their places: Hexedy on one side, Arcite on the other. Arcite began to charge on his horse, going faster and faster and faster and faster. Hexedy did not move. Arcite drew his lance. Hexedy did not move. The snot and spit from the horse was inches away from Hexedy's face. Hexedy did not move. Then suddenly, Hexedy gave Arcite a great headbutt, or should I say, headbang. Arcite was tossed flying through the nearby palace wall, causing the majority of the building to collapse. Arcite continued to fly so fast and so far; eventually, he slammed into a great landmass so hard that the world would become clouded and dark for hundreds of years. This is how the dinosaurs became extinct.

Anyway, the king turned to Hexedy and asked "What dost thou want, o noble sire, for thy great deed."

Hexedy, as all reasonable people would, replied as so: "I want to disseminate very small amounts of information to thousands of bored and stupid people who will not really listen nor care about what I have to say." So it was done, and the first university professor was born.

Stamp of "Approval".png

-Shine on, you crazy diamond. ScatheMote 05:25, December 6, 2014 (UTC)

^That better?--Magicite-ffvi-ios.png Technobliterator TC 21:42, December 6, 2014 (UTC)

Yes. 21:48, December 6, 2014 (UTC)
Stamp of Approval.png. — YuanSalut 13:17, December 7, 2014 (UTC)