Week 394: Expo Week: Titan vs. Chocobo

Titan RW
DNC Versus
Chocobo RW
Early in the day of June 13th, 2016 (for Americans, anyways), a trailer was shown for a game of some renown. This trailer prominently features a battle against Titan.

Later in the day, another trailer was shown for this same game, and it opened with... well, I think you get the picture. In this battle for screentime dominance, who will be victorious: the earthen entity, or the feathered fighter?


Votes for Titan

  1. I like being outvoted.--Magicite-ffvi-ios Technobliterator TC 10:27, June 14, 2016 (UTC)
  2. I know I should vote for one of the two mascots of FF, but this is more a vote for a summon who could have been SO much more epic if he only had more screentime in previous games and more backstories.Free bird (talk) 22:27, June 14, 2016 (UTC)
  3. With the exception of one game, I always found Titan to be very easy to fight in just about every iteration. Crashb2007 (talk) 20:18, June 17, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

Votes for Chocobo

  1. If you're going to travel, travel in style on a giant yellow bird. King of Noobs 12:42, June 14, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Even though I usually find the sidequests featuring them extremely annoying, I still love chocobos. ZidaneSilverfield 13:11, June 14, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Flying types are immune to Ground attacks, ergo Chocobo wins. Armageddon11 (talk) 10:51, June 15, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Wark!Zhor7 00:57, June 16, 2016 (UTC)
  5. Have you been on the recieving end of a Choco Meteor? GoldenDragonRider (talk) 03:45, June 16, 2016 (UTC)
  6. Pzykosiz (talk) 22:17, June 16, 2016 (UTC)
  7. GoldenChocobo 12:55, June 18, 2016 (UTC)
  8. Chocobos make great chicken! Μάραυδερ ΟΘʹ 40px I can make the Black Sun look like a Swoop Gang. 16:14, June 21, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

KWEEEHHHHHHH?!?!?! Hot and Cold is one of my most favorite minigames in all of Final Fantasy! 17:41, June 14, 2016 (UTC)

Peanut Gallery

I mean, we all know the true victor of this fight is Prompto's ridiculous VR headset, but that's neither here nor there.

As for why I didn't update, uh... I was extremely busy on the weekend once again, but by the time I remembered it was my week to update the DNC (well, the fourth or fifth time I remembered, but details) it was already Thursday, so there wasn't much point in updating at that point. I told myself I'd be a bit prompter with updating this week.

...Then E3 happened. It, uh, it happened a lot. Jimcloud 09:44, June 14, 2016 (UTC)

I feel like one of our contestants needs to be smoking a blunt. -- Some Color Mage ~ (Talk) 09:57, June 14, 2016 (UTC)
Kweh, kweh, k--hhhhhhh *dies of lung cancer* Cat (meowhunt) 17:05, June 14, 2016 (UTC)

Dundundundun dundada dadadun dun Pzykosiz (talk) 10:54, June 20, 2016 (UTC)

Week 393: Last Man Standing Round 110: God Week: Zidane vs. Auron

Itadaki-Zidane LMS Icon


Now, you may say to me, "But SCM, while we have sufficiently proven Zidane's godhood, what about Auron?"

To that I say, he looked after Tidus for close to a decade without choking him out. No human, either alive or weird zombie ghost, could manage that.

Votes for Zidane

  1. Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, Gibbs free enthalpy? Cat (meowhunt) 00:27, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Zidane looked after Quina for three months or so and he didn't choke him either, that requires even more god-like mental strength. ZidaneSilverfield 06:31, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Pzykosiz (talk) 11:30, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  4. I return to my fascination for the tale. Auron's cool though. King of Noobs 12:25, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  5. SetzerLeonhart (talk) 03:33, June 1, 2016 (UTC)
  6. Auron is not that cool because Tidus is not that bad. Also, Zidane has "What's That?!".AnonyMan (talk) 14:29, June 4, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

Votes for Auron

  1. Did they ever explain what the deal with Auron's hand is? Can't he just get a robot hand like the Winter Soldier? --BlueHighwind 00:12, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  2. --Magicite-ffvi-ios Technobliterator TC 00:43, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  3. The Final Fantasy Nameless Maiden / Otherworldly Maiden 02:57, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Told ya! Sir Auron is the best! Monterossa (talk) 12:46, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  5. OK, no, there is no way that 3 months with something you can placate by throwing food at is harder to resist choking out than Tidus for 10 years. -- Some Color Mage ~ (Talk) 13:53, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  6. Auron is my favorite FFX character! Zhor7 18:46, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  7. At first this was an extremely tough choice for me, but the fight description inspired my vote for Auron, as much as I'd hate to admit this.Free bird (talk) 23:06, May 31, 2016 (UTC)
  8. Hard choice, but I do have to go to him. Crashb2007 (talk) 01:01, June 1, 2016 (UTC)
  9. Aesthetic Armageddon11 (talk) 22:06, June 2, 2016 (UTC)
  10. The coolest babysitter ever! GoldenChocobo 13:42, June 3, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

  1. Dat theme music though! 00:03, June 1, 2016 (UTC)

Peanut Gallery

Chibi-Zidane, rather cute. Chibi-ish Auron? Somehow kinda scary. King of Noobs 12:26, May 31, 2016 (UTC)

Blue... I don't think Auron's hand is injured, as we can see him using that arm in a cutscene in Luca Stadium. It's like how some samurai think they'll look cool wearing yukata like that. You can see many samurai in anime/movies doing the same. Like this. Monterossa (talk) 12:52, May 31, 2016 (UTC)

Err... anyone going to update this? I think this has been forgotten yet again... Crashb2007 (talk) 03:03, June 13, 2016 (UTC)

Not updating weekly content on time is one of the pillars on which the wiki operates. Cat (meowhunt) 06:16, June 13, 2016 (UTC)
A DNC update is never late or early, it arrives exactly when it is intended to. -- Some Color Mage ~ (Talk) 08:42, June 13, 2016 (UTC)

Week 392: Red Dead Rhyming Week: Auron vs. Vincent

DNC Versus
In celebration of the release of the FFX remaster on steam, here is a fight featuring Auron versus his red dead compatriot Vincent.

Now, I wanted to have a pure FFX fight, but there were no good other undead people in FFX to pair with Auron. Yes, I know that half of the NPCs are undead in FFX, but most of them are total losers and not fit for this noble arena. Vincent is less of a loser than people like Seymour or Mika or that old guy who lectures you on the road, so he gets to be in this fight today. Yes, I am aware that he is a moron in his terrible sequel, but Auron has it much worse: his daughter stars in some terrible audio drama that features zombie shoopufs and Sin returning for no goddamn reason. Coincidentally, you can listen to it as part of the remaster. If you want, I guess. It's less of a time commitment than FFX-2, at least.

Votes for Auron

  1. Zero contest.--Magicite-ffvi-ios Technobliterator TC 19:17, May 23, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Coolest zombie ever. Monterossa (talk) 19:29, May 23, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Auron had better pass the booze. Armageddon11 (talk) 19:35, May 23, 2016 (UTC)
  4. One of the coolest old men in video game history. King of Noobs 21:46, May 23, 2016 (UTC)
  5. I'd love to give Vincent a vote because I love his character, but I like Auron more.Free bird (talk) 00:40, May 24, 2016 (UTC)
  6. Vincent is one of my favourite VII characters, but Auron is more badass and not as brooding than him. ZidaneSilverfield 13:54, May 24, 2016 (UTC)
  7. GoldenChocobo 13:28, May 28, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

FINALLY! Someone beat that cat last week! Too bad he's gonna lose to Auron next (hopefully)! 22:46, May 24, 2016 (UTC)

Votes for Vincent

  1. Making a pity vote here. Crashb2007 (talk) 02:13, May 24, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Pzykosiz (talk) 06:47, May 28, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

He solo'd Omega at 60 years of age. Has to be worth something.# 11:02, May 24, 2016 (UTC)

Peanut Gallery

Pst... someone got the whole Victory / Defeat lines wrong for the last fight. We don't play by golf rules here. King of Noobs 21:47, May 23, 2016 (UTC)

ok i fixed it. -- Some Color Mage ~ (Talk) 12:13, May 24, 2016 (UTC)
I approve of the snarkiness. King of Noobs 12:33, May 24, 2016 (UTC)
I was going to say, do I need to bring up the Steve Harvey incident? Crashb2007 (talk) 18:59, May 24, 2016 (UTC)

Would Jecht be considered undead or alive? Crashb2007 (talk) 02:11, May 24, 2016 (UTC)

Bronzed God, I think. King of Noobs 02:56, May 24, 2016 (UTC)

Week 391: Last Man Standing Round 109: Revenge Week: Red XIII vs. Zidane

PFF Red XIII Illust LMS Icon
PFF Zidane Illust
Last Last Man Standing's manly grandstanding matchup (say that five times fast) pitted red against orange in a gruesome battle for color dominance, a battle Red XIII only narrowly won. So, naturally, Garnet did the only reasonable thing available to her under the circumstances: complain to her boyfriend. Loudly. And now here he is, in the Dragon's Neck Colosseum Last Man Standing competition. Coincidence? We here at the Dragon's Neck Colosseum Committee do not believe in coincidence.

We also don't believe in Rock, not including Krile in fights, or the release date of Kingdom Hearts III, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, I hope you're all ready for some classic grudge match action! Can Zidane win this for his lady and make Orange XIII once and for all? Or will Red XIII manage to retain his ill-gotten color gains for good? Who will be the Last Man Standing?

Wow, that brings back memories of way back when we actually ended fight intros with that.

Votes for Red XIII

  1. Sorry Zidane, but Red XIII looks cooler... Crashb2007 (talk) 02:36, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  2. I want Red XIII as DLC for the next Dissidia game, if possible :D MechaKaiser, who else? (talk) 06:39, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Monterossa (talk) 12:55, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Red is the clear underdog (hahah), and I like VII more. Zhor7 23:00, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  5. I'm with Red XIII all the way!Free bird (talk) 23:42, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  6. GoldenChocobo 14:20, May 21, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

Votes for Zidane

  1. If Jimcloud can be super late on updates, so can I! Cat (meowhunt) 04:08, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  2. You don't need a reason to vote for him (see what I did there?) ~ZidaneSilverfield 06:00, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Pzykosiz (talk) 07:57, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Trukk not munky Armageddon11 (talk) 08:34, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  5. --Magicite-ffvi-ios Technobliterator TC 10:39, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  6. I can't rely on tail alone for this vote, so I'll have to think of a reason later. King of Noobs 12:47, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
  7. ThePhoenixDown (talk) 18:23, May 19, 2016 (UTC)
  8. If only because I'm seriously allergic to cats. Berani00 (talk) 00:43, May 22, 2016 (UTC)

Anonymous Votes

SOMEONE take out Red XIII! He keeps taking out characters from 2 of my favorite FF's (VI and IX) -__- 22:43, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

Peanut Gallery

To conclude this update with your typical topical Reason Jimcloud Didn't Update Earlier excuse, did you know African folklore is really fricking weird?? Like, the highlight for me is the story that opens with the hyena telling the hare that they should both kill and eat their mothers, and ends with the hare hammering a red-hot nail into the hyena's skull, at the hyena's request.

Folklore, man. Jimcloud 01:51, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

Was acid involved in the writing of this story? Pzykosiz (talk) 09:09, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
I make no guarantees. Jimcloud 12:24, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
And people say the stories we have these days are messing us up. Man, they had some weird ones back in the day. King of Noobs 12:49, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
That would depend entirely on what acid we're talking about. -- Some Color Mage ~ (Talk) 16:30, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

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