Feast of Famine script
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Wawalago
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The arrival of an audacious adventurer is always an auspicious affair! I've a word for you if you would wait but a whit, whew!
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Wawalago
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All this long while have I, Wawalago, wielded the willow, and so I've an unparalleled understanding of the Calamity's copious consequences for creatures that cavort in courses and combers.
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Wawalago
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Such confusion and chaos caused by the Calamity! Fish are found far from where they once frolicked. Like the loosing of the legendary Nepto Dragon in new domiciles...
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Wawalago
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With which I wander onto today's topic: the realm rings with reports and rumors of fantastic fish, incredible ichthyic impressions that indicate an onslaught of Old Ones!
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Wawalago
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Better than Old Ones─living legends!
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Wawalago
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Only a false fisher fails to fling herself/himself at such a fortuitous find!
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Wawalago
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La Noscea, the Black Shroud, and Thanalan were where these rousing reports arose. The dearth of details does deter dilettantes, despite the delights of living legends!
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Wawalago
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But you're a fully fledged fisher, flush with frills and fundamentals both! Lure the living legends into the light of day, or die despairing!
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Wawalago
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Enervated by the enormity of the enterprise? Practice makes perfect, so you might ply your pole against all the Old Ones first.
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Wawalago
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If only I were footloose and fancy-free like you! It is my fatal flaw that I am indisposed as well as too important to indulge my instinct for ichthyic inspection.
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Wawalago
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Have you landed those living legends? If first you fail, try tirelessly to much avail!
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Wawalago
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Feel these firm flanks, see how the scales scintillate! This is some show of skill, that you learned to lure these living legends!
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Fisherman
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Master Wawalago, don't mean to bother ye, but I need a moment of yer time.
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Fisherman
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These days, it's almost like the Rhotano's fished out. Everybody sits as high comin' back as they did goin' out.
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Wawalago
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Fewer fish, you say? A dire development that disrupts dining delights for decades!
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Fisherman
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Aye, this ain't yer average bad streak. Somethin's happened out there, and folks are tired of watchin' and waitin'.
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Wawalago
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This time of the year, there ought to be colossal catches of cod and cuttlefish, croakers and capelin!
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Wawalago
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Could it be the consequence of crazy currents displacing denizens of the drink? I shall set Sisipu on this situation straightaway!
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Wawalago
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Meanwhile, [Player Name], why don't you resume reeling for living legends? Reports have recently reached me of sightings in Coerthas and Mor Dhona. Return hither once you have hooked and hauled in those hulks!
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Wawalago
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It's a chancy challenge, chasing choice char in─ah, not char? Living legends! Of course I remember! Very vague venture, a vanishingly small stab at success...
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Wawalago
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Could it be...that the master has been mastered? That Wawalago has been wowed? The canard is correct─you have cast off your callowness to collect the catch of the day!
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Sisipu
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Looks like [Player Name] here caught herself/himself a passel of living legends! Am I seeing a changing of the guard, Wawalago? Hmmm?
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Wawalago
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Don't be so silly, Sisipu! [Player Name] is an adventurer─an all-around achiever not about to confine herself/himself to one craft.
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Sisipu
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<sigh> And I was so looking forward to organizing a retirement roast in your honor... But anyway, I came by to update you on the situation you told me about.
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Sisipu
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We can rule out the currents as the cause. The cold current from the Bloodbrine Sea into the Indigo Deep is a tad fatter this year, but nothing out of the ordinary.
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Wawalago
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Yes, yes, the sea has its seasonal shifts. We must cast about elsewhere for the cause of the collapsing catch.
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Ascelyn
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Ah, ahem. I am happy to report that I have solved the mystery of the plummeting fish population. That is to say, the fishery in the Rhotano Sea is doomed thanks to the Nepto Dragon.
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Wawalago
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The absent Ascelyn arrives! Your academic acumen is always appreciated! So there be dragons in these deeps?
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Ascelyn
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Ahem, Master Wawalago, you did say that the Calamity displaced fauna from their natural habitats. Well, not in so many words, but I believe we understand one another.
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Ascelyn
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I have verified that indeed, sightings of the Old Ones soared following the Calamity. More importantly, I have discovered that the Nepto Dragon is calamity's mistress.
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Ascelyn
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That is to say, the creature always appears just after a natural disaster.
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Ascelyn
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Historical records also spoke of slumping fish stock at the time of the Nepto Dragon's appearance.
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Ascelyn
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So, ah, this current situation in the Rhotano Sea looks to be history repeating itself─that is to say, the fisheries here will die a painful, lingering death.
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Ascelyn
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And as for what this creature is, ah, I believe I know that also─a sport born of little Thalaos! Or as we scholars like to say, a freak of nature.
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Sisipu
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But little Thalaos have no natural enemies, and if the Nepto Dragon is a monster version of it... We must catch the thing or these fisherfolk will starve!
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Wawalago
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This random rogue can ruin the entire Rhotano seaboard!?
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Ascelyn
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That would be correct. Luckily, I've had urchins─that is to say, children, not those fascinating creatures with feet ringing their mouths─on the lookout.
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Ascelyn
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One of them spotted the Nepto Dragon off Costa del Sol. Master Gegeruju has been kind enough to arrange a ship for a bit of dragonslaying, so to speak.
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Wawalago
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Go greet your glory, [Player Name]! As the finest fisher in these parts, it falls on you to finish this fearsome foe.
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Wawalago
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Go greet your glory, [Player Name]! As the finest fisherman in these parts, it falls on you to fend off this fell foe for the fishers of the Rhotano!
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Ascelyn
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Ahem, still on the brink of disaster. The Nepto Dragon was sighted off Costa del Sol. Everything is shipshape, so to speak, for a bit of dragonslaying.
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Sisipu
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Well, this has turned into quite the to–do! If Master Gegeruju's involved, you'd better succeed, [Player Name]. Otherwise we'd never hear the end of it!
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steersman
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Aye, Master Gegeruju explained─awful thorough he was about it, too. Speak with the skipper here when yer ready, and he'll take ye to the ship.
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steersman
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Speak with the skipper here when yer ready to fish that big bastard Dragon, and he'll take ye to the ship.
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Senchyo
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When ye catch that Nepto Dragon, give it here. We'll lay it on the deck, get a measure of its size.
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Wawalago
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The saltworn one summoned us with the shipboard 'shell. He spoke of a supreme struggle with a sea serpent! We rowed robustly to reach you, ready for any rowdiness!
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Wawalago
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Terrific timing for the three of us─missed the threat but not the thrill. Why, what a whale you've whisked out of the whitecaps!
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Sisipu
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Did you actually reel this monster up all by yourself? Even after all this time, you still manage to surprise me, [Player Name].
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Ascelyn
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Ah, ahem, can I get some help here? Decomposition waits for no man, and I should like to avoid any unnecessary eruptions during dissection.
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Ascelyn
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Ahem, a great day for science. And, ah, congratulations on avoiding the destruction of an entire way of life and all that. If you'll excuse me, I must get to the laboratory.
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Ascelyn
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Hm? Oh, yes, the fish stock should return to normal. Stands to reason that if nothing's eating them, they wouldn't be dead.
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Sisipu
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Then it's time we return to Fisherman's Bottom and deliver the good news to everyone!
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Wawalago
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Mmm... The lucent length of the late living legend fills me with fancies of flaky flesh! Surely science is not so stingy that it can't spare a succulent slice?
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Sisipu
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You want to eat the Nepto Dragon? That is so... Wawalago, it's science. Ascelyn's research is far more important than your supper plans!
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Sisipu
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Oh, Wawalago will be fine. He's just blue because he didn't get to taste the Nepto Dragon.
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Wawalago
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Adventurer, we appreciate all you've accomplished here. Once more, the Rhotano shall brim with bluefins and bream, bonito and bass...
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Wawalago
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You are an amply accomplished angler, gifted in getting at gilled gulpers. Everything in Eorzea is yours to ensnare!
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Wawalago
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But bear in mind, better to bide your time when the biting isn't brisk! Patience is precious, though precious few perceive it so.
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Wawalago
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Philosophical followings are not my forte! But few can beat me in braising, boiling, and browbeating! Ascelyn sneaked me some scrumptious steaks sawed off the Nepto Dragon!
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Wawalago
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No speaking to Sisipu of this─she's blinded by science! Now, decisions, decisions! Browned in butter? Capers? Cream and cumin? Or patted in pepper and put in a pie...
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Quest complete.
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