Dubious Dancing

Cloud Strife: No way! That thing's just a machine.

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The deputy postmoogle would reward your efforts with an assignment to more idyllic climes.

Quest description

Dubious Dancing is a Quest in Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn.

Journal[]

In lieu of the vacation that he claims you rightfully deserve, the deputy postmoogle has entrusted you with a letter addressed to Master Gegeruju, of Costa del Sol fame. When life hands you a lemon, make lemoncakes─deliver the missive to Gegeruju's beach paradise in eastern La Noscea, and try to enjoy the journey.
The envelope you delivered contains a blunt refusal from the dancing master Guillaunaux, who Master Gegeruju had sought to employ for the purpose of bringing the forefront of artistic expression to Costa del Sol. Fortunately for the enterprising entrepreneur, Guillaunaux saw fit to introduce another dance instructor who may prove more accommodating. Carry the contract drafted by Gegeruju to this esteemed personage, who may be found in outer La Noscea.
The mysterious dance instructor is revealed to be none other than Bugaal Ja, a Mamool Ja whose questionable behavior while bathing has earned him the scorn and disgust of many a smoothskin. Deeply moved to have found a patron who would pay the proper respect to his people's tradition, Bugaal Ja eagerly consents to the terms offered. Before setting off for Costa del Sol, however, he must prepare himself according to Mamool Ja custom. Seek him out at the Hermit's Hovel.
Bugaal Ja is eager to make for Costa del Sol and begin his dance instruction, but first he must purify his body according to Mamool Ja ritual─or rather, you must do it for him. Pour some sacred spring water over the Mamool Ja's body.
It would appear that a single dash of sacred spring water was not sufficient for the cleansing ritual. Repeat the process in hopes that a second splash will suffice.
Bugaal Ja grows more animated as he bathes in the soothing waters of the Hermit's Hovel, but it would appear the ritual is not yet complete. Douse him once more and see if the third time's the charm.
His body now cleansed to his satisfaction, Bugaal Ja sets out for Costa del Sol. Venture there yourself and inform Master Gegeruju that his dancing master is on his way.
Master Gegeruju informs you that his dancing master arrived a short while ago, and has already been introduced to his students. The dance lesson will begin momentarily, and you are invited to attend.
Bugaal Ja's undulations and gyrations proved a bit too vigorous for the aspiring dancers, who fled screaming from the lesson while it had barely begun. Speak with Master Gegeruju and hear his assessment of the entire ordeal.
While disheartened with the results, Master Gegeruju does not regret his endeavor to bring the vanguard of artistic expression to Costa del Sol. Nevertheless, it appears that it will still be some time before the average Eorzean can find it in himself to accept Mamool Ja custom. In the meantime, should the undulations of the erstwhile dancing master once more threaten to cause panic amongst the unwitting bath-goers of Bronze Lake, you know where your talents will be needed.

Objectives[]

Deliver the letter to Gegeruju in Costa del Sol.
Deliver the contract to the vigorous dancer in outer La Noscea.
Speak with Bugaal Ja at the Hermit's Hovel.
Pour sacred spring water over Bugaal Ja.
Pour more sacred spring water over Bugaal Ja.
Pour yet more sacred spring water over Bugaal Ja.
Speak with Gegeruju at Costa del Sol.
Wait on the decks for the dance lesson to begin.
Report to Gegeruju.

Script[]

Dubious Dancing script

Lettermoogle	My hardworking assistant returns! Yes, so hard have you been working that I daresay you've earned yourself a vacation, kupo!
Lettermoogle	I'm not going to give you one, of course─I do have a reputation to maintain─but I will give you the next best thing: a letter addressed to Master Gegeruju at Costa del Sol!
Lettermoogle	Soak up the rays of the sun, bask in the balmy ocean breeze, sneak a furtive glance at the lovely dancers─that last one can be our little secret─and you'll soon forget that you're working, kupo!

Lettermoogle	I know at least three moogles who would give their pom for this assignment, but I chose you. Don't you feel special? Now, off to Costa del Sol with you!

Gegeruju	<yawn> Oh, how I tire of the same idyllic sights night after night after night/day after day after day/day after day after day/night after night after night! How long must I wait to see my new beauties take the stage?
Gegeruju	Titan's Bane, a messenger girl/boy!? Is the adventuring life so unprofitable these days? I could always use another winsome lass to winnow me/strapping lad to swab the decks. You may be a touch overqualified, but the pay is generous and the location cannot be topped...
Gegeruju	...But I digress. The letter you have brought me is a reply from none other than the esteemed Master Guillaunaux, whom I have enlisted to train my next generation of artistes. A great honor I bestow upon him, yes?
Gegeruju	Ahem... “Master Gegeruju, while you present a compelling offer, I would rather live out my days in the Navel than spend even a moment instructing empty-headed, ample-bosomed strumpets with as much passion and aptitude for dance as a pack of three-legged shrews.”
Gegeruju	It seems the poor, misguided fellow values the integrity of his art above coin. But what's this? The letter continues, “That said, I know of another whose particular school of dance─though somewhat experimental─may suit your purposes well...”
Gegeruju	What splendid news! The letter neglects to mention his name, but says that he makes his home by Iron Lake in outer La Noscea. Might you be a good messenger girl/boy and deliver this contract to him? I would have my girls begin their training straightaway.

Gegeruju	The letter neglects to mention the dancing master's name, but says that he makes his home by Iron Lake in outer La Noscea. Might you be a good messenger girl/boy and deliver this contract to him? I would have my girls begin their training straightaway.
Bugaal Ja	Why do smoothskins shun my dance!? My dance is dance of vigor and virility!
Bugaal Ja	Paper, for Mamool Ja? Mamool Ja does not want paper.
Bugaal Ja	Mamool Ja wants freedom─freedom to dance! Why does no one understand!?
Bugaal Ja	Hm? Smoothskin wants me to dance? Is some kind of trick to take my coin?
Bugaal Ja	No trick? Smoothskin pays coin? Coin for Mamool Ja? Coin to dance Mamool Ja dance?
Bugaal Ja	Do I dream...? Do smoothskins finally understand!?
Bugaal Ja	Too long has Mamool Ja custom been mocked. Too long have Mamool Ja hips been fettered!
Bugaal Ja	But no more! Smoothskin shows kindness to Bugaal Ja. Bugaal Ja repays kindness, shares proud Mamool Ja tradition with all!
Bugaal Ja	Traditional Mamool Ja bathing dance will be shunned no more! Today, Costa del Sol; tomorrow, the realm!
Bugaal Ja	But dance cannot be danced with body soiled. This is Mamool Ja custom, and custom must not be broken.
Bugaal Ja	Bugaal Ja would cleanse body in Bronze Lake, where water is warm and sights are...stimulating. But smoothskins there have small hearts and narrow minds. Bugaal Ja will go west to little house, where Bugaal Ja can bathe in peace.
Bugaal Ja	You are not like other smoothskins─smoothskins who shun Mamool Ja. Bugaal Ja is pleased.
Bugaal Ja	Bugaal Ja likes little house. Water is warm, and smoothskin leaves Bugaal Ja to himself.
Bugaal Ja	But enough talk─soiled body needs cleansing. But Mamool Ja must not wash own body. This, too, is Mamool Ja way.
Bugaal Ja	Smoothskin take water, pour over Bugaal Ja's body. One, two, three times. Body cleansed, muscles loose─Bugaal Ja will be ready to dance!

Bugaal Ja	Smoothskin take water, pour over Bugaal Ja's body. One, two, three times. Body cleansed, muscles loose─Bugaal Ja will be ready to dance!

Bugaal Ja	Ahhhhhh! Warm water flows over me! Sweat and grime washes away!

Bugaal Ja	Ahhh! Warm water flows over me! Sweat and grime washes away!

Bugaal Ja	Ahhhhhh! Muscles loosen, joints limber! An uncontrollable urge wells from within!

Bugaal Ja	Ahhhhhh! Muscles loosen, joints limber! An uncontrollable urge wells from within!

Bugaal Ja	Graaaaaaaaah! I can contain it no longer! Bugaal Ja must move! Bugaal Ja must dance!
Bugaal Ja	Smoothskin performs cleansing ritual as good as any Mamool Ja! Bugaal Ja has never felt so alive!
Bugaal Ja	Let us visit your Master Gegeruju! I will dance my dance as never before!

Gegeruju	Ah, there you are. I must say, our new dancing master made quite a first impression. I've already taken the liberty of introducing him to the girls.
Gegeruju	Costa del Sol shall be at the forefront of an artistic revolution! I can see the tourists flocking in, hear the clinking of their ample coinpurses...
Gegeruju	At any rate, the lesson should be getting started any moment now. For all you've done, you're more than welcome to look on.

Gegeruju	The lesson should be getting started any moment now. For all you've done, you're more than welcome to look on.
Bugaal Ja	You and Master Gegeruju are friend to Mamool Ja. Thanks to you, days of scorn and hurt are over.
Bugaal Ja	Bugaal Ja has waited long for this day! Today, smoothskins shall know traditional Mamool Ja bathing dance in all its glory!
Dancer1	That is our new dancing master!? Is this some kind of a joke...?
Dancer2	I don't like the way he's looking at me... Oh well, at least Master Gegeruju pays well!

Bugaal Ja	Master Gegeruju, other smoothskins shun Mamool Ja tradition, but you welcome us with arms open. Bugaal Ja will not forget this kindness. Bugaal Ja will be greatest dancing master Costa del Sol ever knew.
Bugaal Ja	Traditional Mamool Ja bathing dance is dance of pleasure, dance of life-giving! Every lift of leg, every sway of hips is sacred. When you dance Mamool Ja bathing dance, you must summon vitality from the very depths of your soul.
Gegeruju	Did you hear that, girls? I'm paying you good coin for this─don't be shy up there!
Dancer	Y-Yes, Master Gegeruju! We've been waiting our whole lives for this chance. We won't let you down!
Bugaal Ja	Prepare yourselves─we begin!
Bugaal Ja	Hoo! Ja! Hoo hoo ja!♪ Mamool Ja have hips! Hips must sway!♪
Bugaal Ja	Hoo! Ja! Hoo hoo ja!♪ Mamool Ja have hips! Hips must thrust!♪
Bugaal Ja	Hoo! Ja! Hoo hoo ja!♪ Mamool Ja is man, like all men!♪
Bugaal Ja	Hoo! Ja! Hoo hoo ja!♪ You are woman, like all women!♪
Dancer	Wh-What is he...? Aaaaaahhh!!!
Gegeruju	Gwahahahahahaha! Brilliant! Utterly brilliant! Now this is a dance to delight even the most mature and discerning of─hm?
Gegeruju	Now where did everyone run off to? And you...are you feeling quite all right!?
Bugaal Ja	I...I do not understand, Master Gegeruju. Bugaal Ja only danced as Master asked me to dance.
Gegeruju	Pay no mind to the reactions of my servants. I suspect they were simply overwhelmed by the sheer wonder of the spectacle laid before them. 'Tis sadly a common plight with artists who are ahead of their time.
Gegeruju	That said, it is perhaps for the best that we...ah...part ways, at least for the time being. Rest assured that you will receive full compensation for your services─as will you, Titan's Bane.

Gegerujugard	I...I am fine, thank you. I cannot quite recall what I witnessed before losing my senses, but perhaps that is for the better...

Gegeruju	Ah, you've returned. Have you any idea what all that shrieking and retching was about? I, for one, found Bugaal Ja's gyrations positively...captivating.
Gegeruju	I was eagerly anticipating the sight of my fair maidens performing this treasure of Mamool Ja tradition, but alas! Once again the commonfolk prove incapable of appreciating my heightened aesthetic sensibilities.
Gegeruju	And yet, while I am a lover of the fine arts, I am an even greater lover of coin. The highest form of art in the world means nothing to me without an audience─a well-paying audience.
Gegeruju	As such, I have made the most heartrending decision to annul Master Bugaal Ja's contract, effective immediately. In return, I compensated him with a healthy sum and a one-day pass to the springs at Bronze Lake. I don't foresee this being a problem, do you?
Gegeruju	That said, the sheer unbridled passion that the Mamool Ja possess for the act of bathing is truly a sight to behold. Were only this passion shared by the average Eorzean, oh, what fortunes could be had!
Quest complete.